Once upon a time
by CherrySakuraGirl
Summary: After her family's demise, 16 year old Sakura is depressed to the point of no hope. Syaoran, as her good friend, does his best to cheer her up. Through him, will she learn the meaning of life, love, and friendship? S+S! *Chapter 7 up*
1. Chapter 1 My Otamodachi

Once upon a Time

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Clamp.

Konnichiwa! This part is kind of sad, but it is S+S in the end so don't worry! Please read, enjoy, and review!

****Sakura's POV****

So cold. My hands.

Tired. I haven't slept in days.

Warm hands envelop mine. Comforting. 

Concerned amber eyes look down. Eyes that hold much empathy.

But he does not know. He's never felt it. The burning within my heart. The accusations I could have saved them. He knows not.

I haven't looked in a mirror for days, but I sense my disheveled semblance. My brown hair I washed yesterday only because Tomoyo forced me, the clothes I've worn for the fourth time. Bloodshot eyes.

I see him wince. Good. He knows what I'm feeling. 

"Sakura are you okay?" he askes.

I force my lips to curve upwards. I mumble something barely discernible, even to my own ears. Of course I'm not okay.

The dream. Today I dreamed of the crash. 

The crowd. Milling around, as if it were a social event. The remains of otou-san's car. Onii-chan's lifeless face when they retrieved him using the stretcher. 

I was told later that my family had swerved in time to miss a pedestrian. The small boy of eight had appeared from nowhere, and otou-san barely dodged him. He rammed into a tree instead. They were both killed, but the boy got away.

The mother was sorry. Her haggard face and sad eyes pleaded to be forgiven for her son's actions. I did what was customary of the matter. An anguishing smile and assuring words erupted from my mouth. 

She was relieved. I was torn inside. I had no friendly otou-san to make breakfast for me, and no mocking onii-chan to stomp on.

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Once upon a time, a genki girl of ten frolicked in the bright land of the sun. A smile graced her face, and her frequent laughter was the sound of bells. Then came a time when misfortune visited her soul, and vestiges of happiness were not found. Sorrow became her. Pain. She is known today as Sakura Kinomoto. Streaming tears and pasted smiles have become her emblem. Deep sorrow, anguish from which there is no ascending.

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*****Syaoran's POV****

Her hand was so cold. So bony.

"Have you been eating?" I asked softly.

Two weeks after it happened, 17 year old Syaoran still saw the tears that encrusted her face, the redness of her eyes.

"No," squeaked Sakura.

"Why don't we go to my house. I can make you something. Do you like chow mein?"

School was over. Sakura was submissive, so I led her by the hand to my house. She said nothing on the way.

When we reached my apartment, I helped her sit down. She collapsed, her frail figure tiny in the chair. She was emaciated, deprived of food. I felt like any second now she would dissolve into the pale curtains, never to return…

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. It scared me, to imagine life without Sakura.

"So is Sonomi your temporary guardian now?" I asked.

Sakura nodded. Only 16, she had to wait two years until she could live on her own. Her family gone, she couldn't live with them anymore. Tomoyo was completely amenable to Sakura moving in with her.

I stood up. Rummaging around the pantry, I procured noodles and vegetables. As I began chopping them, Sakura slumped lower in her chair.

"Thank you, "came a hoarse whisper.

Shocked, I heard Sakura speak. Ever since the accident, the girl had barely uttered a word.

"No problem," I said gently.

Then she smiled. Her lips curled up. The lifting of dark curtains, to reveal the sun within. She was beautiful.

"You should smile more, like you used to," I answered honestly.

A faraway look in her eyes, Sakura commented, "I did, didn't I. Smile a lot. But I don't now."

Her eyes flashed. Staring at him, she added mournfully, "Syaoran, I can't go on like this. There's no point in living."

Shocked, I rushed to Sakura. "Yes there is! What about your friends?"

"But…my family is gone."

No. This could not be happening. Sakura, the girl who added a smile to my face, was losing hope.

I shook her shoulders harshly. "Get a grip on yourself Kinomoto. Stop kidding around."

"I'm not joking Syaoran," replied Sakura softly. Her emerald eyes held tears, tears that proved this was no façade to gain attention. "Please let go of me. You're hurting me."

I glared at her. "You're being selfish Sakura. Stop it."

" I'm just getting in the way of everyone else. There's no point."

Desperately, I pressed, "Sakura, what about me and Tomoyo? We care about you. You'd be breaking our hearts."

A small smile played on her lips. "We're just friends Syaoran. You and Tomoyo mean a lot to me, so I don't want to bother you."

Grabbing her arm, I stared into her eyes. But I saw not an ounce of optimism, of faith. "Damn it Sakura. You know that's not true."

Her face was wet. "Yes it is," she said softly. "Please take me home." Then her face changed, and she added, "but I don't have one."

I held her, while she sobbed violently in my arms. Occasionally, she would look up, with expressions ranging from trust to thankfulness. _At least she trusts me_.

"Syaoran, can you do something for me?" she asked, hesitantly.

"Anything," I replied firmly. I would do anything for her, travel to the ends of the earth.

"Be my onii-chan. Not for real…but pretend."

My heart stopped beating. Without knowing it, Sakura had delegated the single most distressing blow to my soul. Her brother. Her friend. But nothing more.

Covering my reluctance, I tried to answer brightly, "Sure."

"Thank you, otamodachi. I love you."

I smiled, a painful smile that I to forced to my face. Love between friends. Platonic love, nothing more. "I love you too, Sakura," I said quietly,"but more than you think."

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To be continued…

Hello. Please review! If you don't, I won't continue. I had this idea gnawing at me, so I decided to free it by writing this fic. Again, please review, tell me if it sucks or if it's good. I'm really busy, so I won't continue if no one reviews. Thanks, and ja ne!


	2. Chapter 2 Attempt at Beyond

Once upon a time

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Clamp.

*Sniff* when I reread ch.1, it was so sad. This is pathetic; my own writing is making me cry ^-^ Or maybe it sucks so much that I'm crying in disbelief that a story could possibly suck that much! Whichever! Anyway, I'm really into angst right now, with all the angst that I write, so expect it. I will, however, make it a HAPPY ending, so don't worry. Please read, enjoy, and review!

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*****Sakura's POV****

There I stand, on the brink of the sea.

Nothing but the ocean, a vast eternity of water and coldness. Yet, it fits me so well. My mood exactly. 

So close…so near to death. The distinction between life and infinity so fine.

The gentle breeze lifts my auburn hair, flying in the wind. My face is turned towards the weak sun. I am standing ontop of the bridge, the barrier that protects me from the ravages of the ocean. Nothing can stop me now.

I smile, and I lean, lean down….falling…

*******Syaoran's POV******

Wearing my sweats, I take my morning jog. It's such a wary, dismal day. The sun is up, but barely, not shedding any light.

As I near the bridge, I see a lonely figure atop, the breeze swaying her hair. Slender, with auburn hair, I know who she is. A faint smile on her lips, she leans…

Oh God…kami-sama… she's going to fall…

"Sakura! Stop!!" Sprinting, I run to her. Just in time to catch her in my arms, her bony arms clutching at my shirt.

"What the hell were you doing Sakura!" I screamed angrily. "You could die! Do you know that?!"

I shake her roughly. _Dammit! What stunt was she trying to pull?_

"I'm sorry Syaoran-kun. Gomen," she whispers. "I made you mad again, didn't I?"

I glare at her. "What were you trying to do? Kill yourself?"

Her eyes are empty. She says nothing, but I know what the silence means. 

"Please don't yell at me Syaoran," she says, her voice barely audible.

I don't want to, but I feel myself soften. She's so tiny, skinny. Defenseless. What would I do without her?

"Oh God Sakura. Do you know what I would have done if you were dead?"

"I-I-I-'m sorry. You must hate me."

Whoosh. Out went all of my anger. I can never stay mad at her. "No, I don't hate you Sakura. But you have to promise me that you'll never try that again. Promise?!"

"I can't do that," she says softly.

I shake her again. "Kuso na Sakura. Say it." My dark amber eyes bore into hers, and she looks away. 

"Stop Syaoran. You're hurting me."

I stop shaking her. My rage is gone, to be replaced by hopelessness. "Onegai Sakura? For me?" I implore quietely.

She looks up at me, emerald eyes confused. Slowly, she looks away and says, barely discernible, "I promise."

I don't push her to sound more confident. I know she's in mental pain.

Carrying her light body, I take her to Tomoyo's house.

*******Regular POV******

Tomoyo's house…

"Ding dong"

On opening the door, Tomoyo sees a ragged Sakura in Syaoran's arms. But that was impossible! Sakura was upstairs, sleeping!

"Sakura-chan, is that you?" asked Tomoyo anxiously. 

"It's Sakura," answered Syaoran hoarsely.

"Oh Kami-sama…" Pulling Sakura out of Syaoran's arms, Tomoyo led her to a nearby sofa. 

"Where was she?" questioned Tomoyo, fearing the answer.

"The bridge, overlooking the river," replied Syaoran shortly, his face hard.

"She tried to jump off, didn't she?" whispered Tomoyo, already knowing the answer.

Syaoran said nothing.

"Oh God Sakura-chan. Arigato Syaoran-kun, for saving Sakura." Tomoyo hugged Sakura as she cried, but Sakura was inert.

Breaking off in mid sob, Tomoyo said," Look at me, being so selfish. Take Sakura to bed. She must be tired."

Syaoran nodded dully. He carried Sakura upstairs, and tucked her in bed. Kissing her on the forehead, he looked at her ravaged face. Once so angelic, it still was, but he could see the places where the anguish lied. He used to admire her strength, her ability to always smile when things were against her. Yet, that was gone now. He desperately hoped the tough side of Sakura would come through. Closing the door softly behind him, he uttered a prayer for his one-side love.

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Once upon a time there was a cold boy of ten, fiery amber eyes and arrogance that refused to be deprecated. Glares from the boy were reputed to freeze fire, and never did he show his true emotions. Yet, inside he was a kind and considerate, a heart as pure as gold. When he met a certain emerald-eyed girl, he hated her for the cheerfulness that she wore like a favorite blouse. He was jealous, the way she was capable of laughing and talking, always overjoyed with life.

Slowly, her heartwarming smile and gentle, compassionate deeds won him over. Sakura never ceased to amaze him. No matter what, happiness was her being. She taught him hope, love, and the meaning of existence. Beautiful, spirited, innocent…she was untouchable. Over the years, he had grown to love her. The only person to breach his hard exterior, and touch his heart within.

But Sakura didn't know of his changing feelings. Impossibly naïve, she hadn't noticed the way he looked at her or held her when she was sad. She thought nothing of how he embraced her like a delicate flower, afraid of crushing her, or the way his eyes were so gentle. 

Then her family died. It was painful to see how the incident tortured her innocuous soul. The honey brown hair that sparkled from combing was tangled and knotted in clumps, emerald eyes hazy, and perpetual bags under her eyes, proof the sandman never visited.

She was not eternally happy. She had sorrow and sadness like everyone else. She was vulnerable to the evils and melancholy of life.

He would stand by Sakura forever. Even if she never saw him as more than a best friend. She deserved better than him. She deserved to be a princess in a land of thriving flowers and lithe unicorns, a place where a smile would always graze her face and laughter her constant companion. 

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To be continued…

AN- What did you guys think? It was sad, wasn't it? Don't worry, in the end it will be S+S! Right now, Sakura is sad and stuff, but there are a lot of S+S moments. Later, as she learns to love again and be happy, it won't be so angst-sty. Ooopps, just blurted something out ^_^ As a favor, could you guys (readers) please review? It would mean a lot to me, and I would be very happy. I would like to know how you guys like this, or if you think it sucks. Reviews motivate me to write faster. Thanks, and ja ne!

If you have time or if you believe that cleaning your room is the most exciting thing in the world, I would appreciate it if you would read & review my fics:

"Love your Enemy": Sakura is an intelligent, quiet girl who used to be cheerful and happy before something terrible happened. Yet now, she hardly ever smiles, wears clothes sizes too big for her, and glasses that hide her true beauty. She is still kind to everyone, and the only person able to stir any emotions of hate in her is Li Syaoran, whom she's hated for practically her entire life. Can he help her get over her issues? The one thing Sakura is most frightened of is falling in love.

"Best Friends": Syaoran and Sakura have been best friends for practically their whole lives. Yet, when Sakura starts dating, Syaoran can't help but feel jealous. Slowly, Syaoran falls in love with his best friend, and Sakura is confused by her emotions. Do things change?  



	3. Chapter 3 New Days Bring Hope

Once upon a Time

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP, not me.

Konnichiwa everyone! Thank you so much for the reviews! 

Sorry for the delay in updating any stories! I've been extremely busy, with school, homework, and practice. Maybe this weekend I'll post up two chapters to make up for it, one in this fic and one in another. 

On with the fic!

A.N- This chapter is a little poetic. I think it's because of all the different writing that I had to do in school…^_^

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Da Dum. Da Dum. Da Dum.

Blackness… 

The Stars…Gone from my view…

Da Dum. Da Dum. Da Dum.

My hands…they're disappearing…

Panting, Sakura yanked up from bed, her weary eyes already open. Last year, she was a heavy sleeper, her alarm always moment too late, for she kept hitting the snooze button. But this year was different, as Sakura usually slept lightly. Sometimes she didn't sleep at all.

Dragging herself out of the room, Sakura pushed open the door, expecting to see an empty expanse of vast halls. Instead, she saw someone huddled on the floor.

"Tomoyo-chan!" she exclaimed. What was she doing there? Quickly, she covered her mouth; she didn't want to wake her friend. Draping a blanket over the sleeping girl, Sakura crept down the stairs and towards the door.

Just as she was about to reach for the doorknob…

"Where do you think you're going!" demanded a gruff voice.

Whirling around, Sakura saw Syaoran. Crossing his arms over his chest, the amber-eyed boy glared at her.

"N-n-nowhere!"exclaimed Sakura, sweatdropping. "W-what are you doing here?" The mean look in his eyes was scaring her. She'd never seen him that mad before.

"Do you know what you tried to do yesterday?" interrogated Syaoran.

"Yes. So what? It's not like anyone cares anyway."

Suddenly, Syaoran laughed. A laugh replete with harshness, bitterness. "Fine Sakura. Go. Do whatever you want. But don't expect me stand by and watch you kill yourself."

"Stop! Stop talking to me like I'm an insubordinate, underneath you. I know what I'm doing! Leave me alone!" screamed Sakura.

Grabbing the doorknob, Sakura flung it open, the hinges creaking as they slammed against the wall. Throwing a frown at the scowling boy, the girl ran out, the vociferous breeze fanning her hair as she ran barefoot, the harsh stones cutting her bare skin. 

Wincing, Sakura fought to hold the gasp from the wounds on her feet. She sensed Syaoran behind her. Ever since their old cardcaptoring days, Sakura could perceive Syaoran's presence, and Syaoran the same with her. It was helpful in defeating enemies, but now it seemed annoying and a hindrance. 

From the top of the stairs, Syaoran watched her. Why was she so independent? Didn't she know he would always be there for her, just like she'd always been there for him?

"Sakura! Wait!" he called.

Whirling around, Sakura answered," What?"

Tossing her a jacket, Syaoran replied," It's cold. Wear this. And I'm coming with you."

Grateful, Sakura slipped it on. Her old pink cardigan, the one she had forgotten at Tomoyo's house so many years ago. A soft pink, the hue of cherryblossoms on a spring morning.

"Thank you, Syaoran-kun," replied Sakura softly.

"Hey. No problem, "said Syaoran. At her somber and reflective countenance, Syaoran apologized," Listen. I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier."

A small smile on her lips, Sakura whispered," It's ok. I know I've been acting selfish lately, so I deserve it. I don't know what I would do without you and Tomoyo."

The two figures walked in comfortable silence, enjoying the serene song of the birds, and the way the breeze felt rolling on their skin. Slowly, Sakura's cold hand fell into Syaoran's warm one.

Her hands were so delicate, infinitely small in his. So icy…Like a fading bottle crashing across the waves, to be scattered among the ocean rivets in innumerable directions. There would be no reason to live with out her. No reason to pull himself from the abyss of dreams, of nightmares and mixes of reality.

"Sakura…I-I"

Smiling radiantly, the glow over her face spread across her features, lighting up her soul. It was the first time she had smiled like she used to. She was beautiful.

"Thank you Syaoran."

"No, thank you," he whispered, transfixed by her gentle aura.

Taking her by the hand, Syaroan led her to a pond. Together, they looked into the translucent water, their image reflected off the infinite molecules of liquid.

"What do you see?" asked Syaoran curiously. 

An old legend decreed that whatever was seen in the lake was the truth. Nothing deceived the trustworthiness of the sea. Lucid and pure like a mirror, only the heart was reflected.

"I-I see you. And me. " answered Sakura, uncertain of the question.

"I see a girl who is capable of facing hardships and adversity, coming out unscathed ontop. A girl who always smiles. " corrected Syaoran.

Sakura giggled, the rich sound of light, silver bells. "You're lying."

But when she turned to see his amber eyes, the intensity and sincerity in those bottomless orbs caught her off guard. It was the truth. No one could have those eyes and lie.

"No I'm not."

Then Sakura's stomach rumbled, and she turned red. "Hehe…I guess I'm hungry."

"It's my fault. Come on, I'll take you to a nice restaurant."

"For breakfast?"

"Yes, my treat."

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The next day … 

"Syaoran, are you going to wake her up?" prodded Tomoyo. 

For the last few days, Syaoran had slept in the guest bedroom at Tomoyo's house, to be near Sakura. He helped her pass the days, and was always ready to lend a helping hand. 

Reluctantly, Syaoran shook Sakura's shoulders. He didn't want to disrupt her peaceful slumber. An angel with a slight smile gracing her lips. The world was vibrant flowers in the field of dreams. Upon opening her eyes, she would find the sorrow and pain that was unrelenting, draining the air of its lightness and strength.

Excruciatingly, the eyes slide open, revealing shining orbs of emerald green within. Sweet lips curved upwards, and then a "Syaoran-kun? Is that you?"

Unwilling to leave the sanctuary of warm blankets and a soft mattress, the girl pulled herself out of bed. Bony hands rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and soon she was looking up at her two friends, who stood indecisively by the door.

"I don't bite, "remarked Sakura softly, unsure why her friends were treating her indifferently.

Immediately, Tomoyo's face changed, from pity to her old expression of veneration. "Of course! Let's go shopping!"

"Shopping?"

"Yes. Remember all the fun we would have laughing at ridiculous outfits and trying on new clothes?"

Sakura closed her eyes pensively. Digging through the cobwebs, which were her memory, she vaguely recalled a time of exuberant joy. But it felt like so long ago…Like she'd grown up, and didn't appreciate the simple joy of the sun's ray on a cold day. A second Sakura, one who didn't know herself.

"I don't think so, Tomoyo,'' she said softly.

"Oh. I'm sorry for asking," added the girl hastily. 

"No. Thank you for offering. But maybe…when I'm ready. Some other time."

"That sounds good."

"Tomoyo! Time for your singing lesson!"announced Sonomi, from downstairs.

Sighing, Tomoyo answered, "Be right there okaa-san!" To her friends, she appologized, "Gomen, demo I'll see you later. Enjoy your day Sakura-chan." Before she descended the stairs, she squeezed Sakura's hand, a guesture of reassurance.

The room empty except for Sakura and Syaoran, it seemed unnaturally large. "Well, what would you like to do today?" asked Syaoran.

"Well…," began Sakura hesitantly, "I don't think you want to come."

"Of course I do. Where?"

Her throat closed upon her, and she had to fight the tears that threatened to flow down. "The-the graveyard. I want to visit onii-chan and otou-san, "she replied quietly.

Taking her hand, Syaoran lifted Sakura's chin. "Sakura. I would do anything for you. Let's go."

Sakura smiled, but the full meaning of the words wasn't understood.

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Fujitaka Kinomoto

Loving father. Faithful friend.

Touya Kinomoto

Kind son. Protective Brother.

These were the few words that commemorated two lives upon earth. A cotton tissue pressed suffocatingly against her nose, Sakura didn't bother to hide the tears that were coursing down. Her otou-sam, her onii-chan. How had this happened? Of course it wasn't true. It was too ridiculous. How could she imagine a life without Touya's teasing, or her otou-san's gentle smile? 

It wasn't true. She refused to believe it. An eternal nightmare that would never end, never the respite received when the glow of the sun pierced through the shadowy wold of monsters.

"Syaoran-kun, it isn't true, right? Tomorrow I'll wake up, and see it's all bad dream."

_Onii-chan…tomorrow he will call me a kaijuu, and I will step on his feet, yearning for the day when I will be the tallest tree in the world, taller than even onii-chan. So that I may one day beat him in his own game. And otou-san…on the morrow, the mouthwatering scent of pancakes will waft to my nose, and after stomping eagerly down the stairs I will witness the harbingers of another sun, the smile of a kind father. It's not true, right?_

With eyes of passionate hope, Sakura looked to the young man beside her, whose eyes were sad as hers. But no words of solace were uttered by his voice, for there was none. Instead, he held her in his arms as she cried, tears that would only pass with the coming of the world's merciful time.

And so they stood. What was presumed to be a day of enjoyment and freedom was the day for yet more tears, and yet more sorrow. But with sorrow comes the belief that tomorrow will be better. And perhaps our heroine will smile, or the faint glimmer of humor in her beautiful eyes. And if not, there will always be our favorite hero to pick up the pieces. 

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Awwwww…what did you guys think? Hehehe…please review! It would mean a lot to me, since I'm taking time to write this. As for other chapters, look forward to an update later this week or early into next week. In my "creative process" I'm working on "hidden princess" "love your enemy" and "misunderstandings." But "enchanting duel" seems to have grabbed my attention at the moment, so the next one up will most likely be from that story. Once again, thank you for the support. It's what makes writing an extra plus!

Eeek…isn't school killer? Well, I seem to have it under control now, so expect more updates. Sorry to those who are waiting for my stories; they're almost ready!

Ja ne!


	4. Chapter 4 Sunrises and New Challenges

Once upon a Time

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: CCS does not belong to me, and never will no matter how many times I wish it were so. So don't sue.

Hello! I'm back writing ccs fanfiction. Thanks for the reviews…as always, I was very happy to read them. Please read and enjoy!

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"Can I open my eyes?" the emerald-eyed girl asked. A blindfold lay across her face, obscuring the world from sight.

A protective hand held her shoulders, leading her carefully down the path. "Almost…here." With a flourish, the boy removed the cloth from her eyes, to reveal a brilliant sunrise over the beach.

Sakura gasped, it's magnificence and beauty taking her breath away. The lone sun, rising from the water's surface to triumph over the darkness. She could feel the warm rays across her skin, removing past sorrows to leave only the sense of peace and tranquility in its wake. Sakura smiled softly, the breeze ruffling her auburn hair.

So there they stood, the amber-eyed boy clutching the girl's hand, watching with a wistful look on his face as the girl saw the sun, the water, and the sky. 

There's an old tale. A tale of the ocean and the sound of the waves washing up on the beach. The story that no matter what, no matter the pain or anguish, the waves can wash it all away as swiftly and as surely as shells disappearing on the sand. 

For that's the miracle of the ocean, and the magic of the sun. To restore love and innocence when it was lost, and to instill hope and joy when there was none before.

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Japanese class, last block of the day…

"Sakura-chan, how did you do on the Japanese test?" asked Tomoyo. "I'm sure you did very well," she added encouragingly. Unlike math, Sakura was good at Japanese. She had a certain connection with words, and their lyrical poetry. 

Trying to smile, Sakura held the paper to her friend. In red across the front, was the mark 20/20.

Tomoyo smiled brightly. "See Sakura-chan? You did very well indeed. What did you write about in the essay?"

"My otou-san and onii-chan," Sakura answered, trying not to cry. "About…how I miss them, and how I wish they were here with me."

"They are Sakura-chan. They're watching over you right now," Tomoyo said gravely. "And…and they're proud of you."

"Arigato Tomoyo-chan. That was nice of you to say." Sakura replied, eyes sad.

Chihura and Yamazaki walked to them, and it seemed that for the first time, Yamazaki was restraining his tongue, and Chihura wasn't arguing with him.

"Sakura-chan…Yamazaki has a story to tell. A good, _true_ story too," Chihura added fiercely. Chihura elbowed Yamazaki, and he rubbed his forehead thoughtfully.

"Once upon a time…there was a young girl who lived in feudal times," Yamazaki began. " She was a priestess of a Shinto temple, and she was in love with a young man. But the young man she loved…he hated her. He was rich, she was poor, and he hated her because he envied her. She had many friends, and he none, for his heart was as hard as stone-

"This better be going somewhere," Chihura interrupted, her tone warning him. 

Yamazaki ignored her, continuing with the tale. "But then one day, the young man's father was terribly ill, and none of the doctors could discover what the illness was. Despite the family's money and great influence, the young man's father was dying and there was nothing to stop him from losing his life. But then the young man remembered the girl, and the healing powers she was thought of to possess."

There was a pause as Yamazaki collected his thoughts. Sakura felt pity for the girl, who was in love with a boy that did not return her feelings, and the father who was dying.

"The young man ran to the temple, through the hard rain. When he got there, the girl was asleep, and he shook her shoulders roughly, yelling about his father who was about to die. The girl got up calmly, already clothed in her traditional kimono, and grabbed her bag of herbs and charms. They ran together to the young man's mansion, where the girl found the old man already pale and shaking. There was a look of deep sorrow in her eyes as she watched the man sweat and cough, and she said, "I cannot save this man. For it is not magic that I possess, only skill. But I will try, and may the gods be with me.

"The girl stayed up all night, caring for the old man. She lit powerful candles that cleansed the air, and created solutions of herbs and medicines that fought off the man's sickness. But just as she foretold, the man died that night, died while she prayed for his soul. When she went to tell the young man of the fate of his father, he looked at her with such loathing that she wanted nothing less than to cry.

"The girl fled the house, slipping through the rain, blinded by tears of anguish and rage. Anguish at the man's death, and rage that she was not able to save him. Her hair was soaked through and through, and her clothes hung heavily when she returned. She went to sleep without changing into dry clothes, and the next day she was sick, having caught the same malady from the father of the man she loved.

"When the young man found out, he forgot his hate and his pain, and he went to care for her. He felt guilty, and he finally realized that it was not her fault that his father died. He was willing to do anything for her, anything to make up his past sins. Only it was too late, and the girl died without knowing that the one she loved cared for her as she did him."

"Yamazaki…" Tomoyo said softly," What was the point of that tale?"

But he wasn't finished yet. "The young man fell in a great sickness, and he ranted and raved, angry at himself and fate. Angry that the gods would take away his father and the girl that he loved. Despairing, he fell into the same sickness that killed his loved ones, and he died as well. There were such high hopes for him, the first born son of the lord who was to inherit all the lands. Instead, the manor fell to chaos after his death, and blood was shed until the lands lay in shreds. Without an able ruler, there was nothing left. Just blood, fallen bodies, and poverty."

Tomoyo sighed sadly. Then she saw Sakura. Soft tears were trickling down her face.

"Yamazaki-kun," Sakura began," why did the young man die like that? He could have lived to care for the people. The one he loved…she was already gone, and he couldn't change that."

Yamazaki smiled. "But he was in love, and the one he loved died," he reasoned sadly. "He felt like there was no reason to live."

"There's always a reason to live," Sakura said softly. "I realized that…when I-I-"

"Shhh…it's okay Sakura-chan," Tomoyo reassured. "We understand.''

"Thank you Yamazaki-kun. It was a good story," Sakura confessed. "It was sad…but I like it."

Yamazaki grinned. "Really? You liked it? Do wanna hear another one about mermaids and bears and Eskimos-

"Okay, that's enough Yamazaki. Don't go and ruin it," Chihura threatened. "See? Is it so bad telling a true story, instead of your usual rubbish?"

"Hmm…"Yamazaki pondered seriously. "I'll do it when I have to, but I prefer my other stories. More funny."

Chihura face faulted. Annoyed, she yanked Yamazaki's ear, pulling him away from Sakura and Tomoyo. "Yamazaki…you were being so nice and honest, then you had to go and blow it!" They could hear her screaming off in the distance. 

"Tomoyo…"Sakura began pensively.

"Oh?"

"Do you think I'm stupid?" she asked seriously.

Tomoyo frowned, surprised at the question. '' Of course not Sakura-chan! Look at how well you did on the Japanese test!" she praised proudly.

"No," Sakura insisted. "I know I'm not that smart, like you and Syaoran-kun and Eriol-kun and Naoko-chan. But the story Yamazaki-kun told me…there was a moral in it. Did they think that I wouldn't notice it? That they told the tale just to make me happy again?"

"Sakura-chan…there's nothing wrong with that," Tomoyo assured firmly. "They just care about you. They want you to be strong, that's all. They would never think you're stupid."

"If you say so Tomoyo-chan," Sakura replied sadly.

"I mean it Sakura," Tomoyo repeated fixedly.

The two girls watched silently as the sun stood in the sky, and the birds outside sang their light melody. Tomoyo felt a tap on her shoulder, and she turned around to see the brilliant blue eyes of Eriol.

"Tomoyo-chan, Sakura-chan," Eriol bowed. He offered his elbow to Tomoyo. ''Are you ready to go?" he asked.

Tomoyo looked at Sakura, standing alone by the window. "Eriol-kun…what about Sakura?" she whispered. "She can't stay here alone. The school's closing in an hour or so…how will she get home?"

"Sakura-chan, would you like to come with us?" Eriol asked kindly. "You should have friends to support you. Come with us. What would my little descendent say if you saw you standing here all alone?"

But Sakura shook her head. She didn't want to be a drag. "No, it's all right, I'm fine here. It's so lovely…I can see the park, and children playing…"

"Nonsense Sakura-chan. Come with us. It'll be fun. We can go to the movies if you like, and you can order whatever candy you want. My treat," Eriol urged.

"No…'' Sakura saw Tomoyo, with Eriol's arm around her. They were a couple now, and she didn't want to get in the way. Tomoyo deserved this day…she was so nice, always there to support her. She deserved to have a fun day with her boyfriend, alone without a bothersome friend.

Sakura forced a bright smile, almost like her old ones save for the sadness in her eyes. "Have fun Tomoyo-chan. Bring back some candy for me."

"But S-

"Go Tomoyo-chan. Have fun," she prodded, giving her friend a little push out the door.

"Sakura-chan, I will not!" Tomoyo called indignantly. "You can't get rid of me that easily!"

Sakura gave Eriol a pleading look. Eriol sighed. "Come on Tomoyo-chan, Sakura-chan wants you to let her be."

But suddenly Tomoyo was in the room again, and there was a desperate look in her amethyst-eyes, like she knew she was losing her best friend. "Sakura-chan," Tomoyo began," You know you can always come to me, right? No matter what…I'm never too busy for you."

"I-I know," Sakura assured.

"Don't forget that," Tomoyo pressed softly.

"I won't."

And then Tomoyo smiled, and she was her old self again. Calm eyes, and lovely violet hair that never went uncombed but always shined, as immaculate as the sun's light.

She held Eriol's hand, and they left together, leaving Sakura alone in the classroom.

"Bye Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo called cheerfully. "I'll bring you all your favorite chocolates from the market!"

Sakura smiled weakly and waved good bye to her friends, sighing when they were gone. She placed her fingers on the windowpane, her forehead against the cool glass. It was autumn, although the sun still cast its sparks across the land. Flurries of colorful leaves danced across the air, swaying to the wind's ever whim. She was utterly alone, and it was peaceful…yet she missed something. Something…a feeling that she couldn't explain.

She angled her face towards the sun, reveling in its friendly glow. And she closed her eyes for moment before forcing them open again. She sensed someone…

There…in the window across from her, a little to the upper right. A young man, with familiar dark brown hair that had a mind of its own, and deep eyes that saw through to her heart within. He was watching her…she could feel his eyes. And quite abruptly, she was angry. Angry at the way he pitied her, like a little girl who couldn't take care of herself. _He's probably watching to see if I'll try jumping out the window_ Sakura thought bitterly. _So then he can find another reason to ridicule me, just like at the bridge…I'll show him. I'll do no such thing. _

A little defiantly, Sakura stared back at him, that old spark back in her emerald eyes. The spark of life, of chance. For she finally realized that neither one is without the other. For there can be no rainbows or calm nights without storms or lightning.

The boy smiled, that mysterious smile with his eyes. She saw the challenge chiseled as plain as day on his face. The challenge to live, to smile, and to laugh.

And she smiled back, the full light of those emerald eyes glistening as brilliant and clear as the moon on a starless night. The look in her eyes was more than defiant, it was determined as well. To follow the long road back to recovery, to gain what she had lost. To see once and for all what had been in front of her all along. 

But there is no easy way to end this, no simple means. For she knew that her otou-san and onii-chan could not be brought back. Yet…she was willing to try, try to live without them. Because above, from wherever they were watching her, they would want her to be happy. And it wasn't her place to disappoint them.

************************************************************************_Once upon a time…_

Once upon a time there was a girl, her heart as pure and as precious as pearls from the waters of the vast ocean.

Once upon a time there was boy who acted arrogant and cruel, but whose heart was as strong and kind as the oak that stands upon this earth for centuries.

Once upon a time a terrible tragedy struck, one that rendered the girl insensible and blind to happiness and love. But slowly and surely as the moon pushes back the tidal waves, the girl saw the error of her sad ways. The road ahead would be bumpy and rough, full of tears and setbacks, but the girl was strong, and she had wonderful friends who were willing to lend their care to make her laugh. If that failed, she would always have a special friend at her side, a friend who would never let her go. And perhaps there would be love as well...

Once upon a time…

~~~~~~~~~~to be continued~~~~~~~~~~

************************************************************************

A/N- Ack…I can't remember how to spell ' to be continued' in Japanese for the life of me. Oh well…it's tzuku or tuzuku…can't remember. Anyways…Inuyasha today! YAY! Too bad it's the dubbed version…oh well, a girl can't have everything. Please review and tell me what you think about this chappie. I would be very happy indeed to know what you think about it ^_^

Also, I would really appreciate it if you would r&r my general fic "spring." I don't know if it's very good, because I wrote it with a totally different style. So any reviews would be MUCH appreciated.

Bye!And have a HAPPY NEW YEAR! Much anime and fun out to you guys! 


	5. Chapter 5 Old Memories of Gray Clouds

Once upon a Time

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: CCS doesn't belong to me...it never did.

  


To the contrary of the _sad _path that this fic is taking, this chap goes through some happy _memories _before their death, so it's kinda happy, but bittersweet too...I won't give it away! ^_^ Please r&r what you think about it!

  


I think a _thank you _to all my reviewers is wayyyyyyy overdue! So THANK YOU!! Here's a reply to everyone that reviewed last chapter:

" "- it almost made you cry! Wow...thanx for the compliment!

  


Wings of Fire- I luv the word spiffy! Thanx!

  


FlameSolo- hehehe...I would say Merry Christmas and....but it's over already! Thanx for the review!

  


Time Warp- lol. I did make up that story that Yamazaki told ^_^

  


Megami No Hikari - You're too kind!

  


Kalyani- I loved your review! It was so thoughtful, & tried to do some of the things that you advised me to do like to broaden the characters' vocabulary...u should read my other storie on fictionpress.net...they use BIG words...hehehe. Yea, I'll try to cut out some of the overused metaphors...I have new ones in this story...I guess I was kind of _just _writing, and not really thinking about what came out, much less realizing it...thanx for the tips!

  


silverg3r- so that's what that word was! You know how it is when you _know _that you know something, but you really don't and it bothers you for the rest of the day(s)? That's what that word was with me. Thanx for informing me & saving me from fumbling w/words until I found it!

  


peach-bear- Girl, you're so sweet & awesome! I love all your reviews! Are you still writing CCS fanfiction?

  


Pnaixr0se8- Thanx! I'm glad that you like the plot!

  


Winged Guardian- okay, I'm updating, so don't swing that sword at me! ^_^ 

  


WezL- thanks!

  


Kawaii-CherryWolf - awww thanks! Be careful when u get up, so that you don't fall in the pool of tears and trip ^_^ Tripping is very painful indeed ^.^

  
  


Please r&r! Btw, most of this chappie is a flashback....

  


****************************************************************************

Chapter 5

Sakura had a dream that night. It left shivers and sweat on her forehead, and made her feel empty and hot, like she had a fever. Surprisingly, the dream was not a nightmare about her family. In the dream, there were no car crashes or sirens, no pile of rubble nor high-pitched shrills in the night air. There weren't any ambulances nor law enforcement cars to stop traffic or write up citations and contact relatives. No cell phones going off at odd intervals, and no men and women in uniforms talking in walkie-talkies. 

But in a sense, it was _much _worse.

The dream started off well enough. She was walking home from school with Tomoyo, having normal conversation. Nothing about ax murderers or death, which was _very _good. As soon as they got to Tomoyo's house, that's when it started. Even from the bottom of the grand staircase, she could smell the metallic scent of blood and decay. It littered the air, contaminating her eyes and making them water from the stench. Tomoyo and her rushed up the stairs, yanking open the door. And then Sakura's heart promptly _burst_ into tiny pieces. 

Syaoran lay on the floor, blood pouring from his wounds and collecting in a developing puddle of red liquid. His amber eyes, always so cold _and _yetwarm, were shut. If one disregarded the growing pool of blood, and the fact that he wasn't breathing anymore, Syoaran would _seem _asleep and peaceful. And yet, never would he sleep again, because he was _drowning _in his own small lake of blood, and insignificant detail that he was _dead_.

In her _nightmare_, it all came in slow motion. Sakura ran forward, somehow eluding Tomoyo's arms to hold her back. She plopped down next to Syaoran, heedless to Tomoyo's screams. Hot liquid flew down her cheeks, falling into her mouth and making her throat constrict until she was choking on her tears. There was so much blood, and it was just like the death of her otou-san and onii-chan. 

_Everyone's leaving me..._

Sakura grabbed onto Syaoran's arm, shaking it violently.

"Wake up! Please! Kami-sama, I can't live without you...not you too!" _Don't take him away from me too!_

It wasn't fair. Even in death, Syaoran wore that infuriating expression of his: somewhere between coldness and kindness. Death made him calm, and his brown hair was still tousled and messy, even in death. Sakura stared at him awhile, whilst holding his hands, which were frigid with death. The shock still hadn't hit her yet, and she sat there for several minutes, or maybe it was hours? For it seemed an eternity that Sakura stared at Syaoran, imagining the warm amber of his eyes when he woke up. He would tell her to stop moping about and wash her face. Then he would drag her to his medicine cabinet and care for the wounds on her knee that she got from falling down the stairs that morning. And maybe, if she was lucky, he would smile at her. Not one of his fake or cruel smiles, but a real smile that made butterflies spin, performing aerobics and rhythmic gymnastics in her stomach.

Tears continued falling helter-skelter.

He was too handsome for death. She traced his jaw, which was chiseled to perfection, drops descending on his face. In her eyes, he was perfect. Everything about him. The way he comforted her, despite the coldness he got in return. She loved the way he tried to make her feel better whilst she would just stare off into space and feel sorry for herself and her family. She loved the way he got mad at her when she did stupid things like try to jump off bridges. She loved the way he cooked for her, the way he would make her eat when she would rather starve than live. She loved the way he would shoot her glares when she said she was a vegetarian when she really wasn't to get out of eating dumplings and surviving. Making excuses not to eat, he would puzzle out ways circle around them. She loved the way he would chop vegetables for her and make tofu for her despite her protests. She loved the way he humored her. Ever since her brother and father died, she'd done nothing but cry and wallow in self-pity. Sakura loved the way he was there for her, never overly kind, never too stern. He kept her in check. She loved the way he looked at her, and how in the pits of her tummy various birds would romp about.

But most of all, she loved the way he was only one person that he could possible be: Syaoran.

Sakura found herself leaning forward, auburn hair falling down from it's hasty half-bun. Soft brown hair unraveled from their ribbons, until they sank over Syaoran's still form, some fibers catching on his clothes, others dipping in the blood that scattered over the carpet. Almost like she was drawn to him by a magnetic pull, she bent down to brush her lips with his, but then she woke up. 

Just like _before_, their lips never met. Sakura tasted nothing but air.

An awful headache clobbered her the instant her eyes popped open. Shafts of sunlight filtered through the room, the world rejoicing in orange and blue. She was shaking visibly, not tiny shivers, but great, wracking sobs that tore at her heart and made tears flow down every crevice of her face. Visions of Syaoran's empty body kept swimming before her consciousness, and it was a struggle not to cry out into the night.

Sakura crept out of bed, tugging her pink nightgown around her body to prevent the cold from seeping into her bones. She was still staying at Tomoyo's mansion, and she'd even persuaded Tomoyo to sleep in her own room, as opposed to keeping an all-night vigil to make sure Sakura didn't discover any windows to hurl herself off of. Sakura could tell that Tomoyo and Syaoran were watching her closer now. They were _still _suspicious that Sakura would find a great fantasy in which the martyr was one that died after leaping off a cliff into the sea. Sakura didn't have to remind then that the sea was _miles _away_, leagues _even, but they were still wary.

She dashed to the guest rooms adjacent to her's, knocking open the door. She gasped, nearly puncturing a blood vessel in panic when she saw that Syaoran wasn't there. Then she recalled that Tomoyo had ordered him to go home and get some much-needed sleep.

So he was gone for now. Sakura wandered around his room for awhile. It was spotless for the most part; he'd taken everything home. Except for a picture frame, and a random scarf that might have been his, or another guest's a long time ago. 

The picture had been taken on the beach so long ago, in the morning. Syaoran had his arm around her and they were eating ice cream

Sakura fingered the frame, taking in the picture whilst a soft smile played on her lips. It was one of those pictures that made the Kodak quote "one picture is worth a thousand words" true. The type of picture that preserves everything, a memory engraved forever more in stone or crystal that would last years and years later, still giving off the same emotions. Tomoyo was in one of her crazy moods that day, only instead of using video-cameras, she switched to plain old-fashioned cameras. Thus resulted the picture. For once, Sakura was glad that she had a best friend that enjoyed preserving the memory of _everything._

*******

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

It was a scene from sometime a few months ago, in the last few weeks of her sophomore year in high school.

Everyone was on the beach that day. The sun wasn't _exactly _shining though. There had been a storm the previous night, and clouds that were neither pure white nor dark were strewn over the horizon, throwing shadows on the sand. Usually, during the months of May and June, the sand was scorching hot, and made Sakura dance up and down on the rocks to keep her feet from burning up. Instead, with the storm and overcast sky, the sand was cool as it she dug her feet further into the sleek grains. She remembered pulling Syaoran behind her, or rather _yanking _him behind her to show him an alcove at the other end of the beach. As usual, he was grumbling and looking none-to-happy to be pulled by a girl halfway across the coast.

"Come on Syaoran!" she had insisted. "You're lagging behind!"

"Ow!" he muttered. "Will you _please _let go, or at least not tug so _hard_?! _Sheesh_."

They reached the cave. Sakura walked inside, dropping Syaoran's hand. She proceeded on a little ahead of him, and this time Syaoran grabbed _her _arm.

"Be careful," he cautioned. "These rocks aren't too stable. You could fall and break your legs or arms, maybe both."

"Whatever," Sakura rolled her eyes good-naturedly. She tottered off farther, breaking from his grasp. 

Syaoran clasped her arm again, a little firmer. 

"_You _dragged me here, so we're going to do this thing _right _way," he said sternly. He pointed to the rocks on the left, which were haggard and sharp, the edges glinting roughly in the dull sun. "It rained yesterday, so everything's damp, which increases the probability that you'll fall. Plus, if you look over there," he indicated a line of loose stones ahead them,"those rocks are a lot less secure than they look."

Sakura smiled. She could see Syaoran's as the world's best babysitter, taking all the harmful chemicals and allergens from accessible cabinets to hide them from babies and small children. But she _wasn't _a _baby_, and a slight frown grazed her lips.

"You don't have to treat me like an imbecile, Syaoran, I _know_."

In true clumsy-girl fashion, Sakura pulled away from him, padding off on her own. She was fine for all of a few seconds, before a rock decided to block her path and she tripped over it. She would have landed with a mouthful of dirt in her mouth, but Syaoran's hand shot out to grab her.

He just stared at her, eyebrows raised, without saying "I told you so." He sighed, muttering, "What am I going to do with you?"

Sakura grinned, linking her arm with Syaoran's.

"Maybe you're right," she declared. "Thank you."

"She says _maybe _I'm right," he mumbled, glaring at her.

"Okay, so you _are _right. Are you satisfied now? I'll be careful."

And Sakura was off again, prodding him behind her without giving him the opportunity to answer. They spent the day together, entering the cave and exploring the ancient monuments. Sakura could almost swear that one of the walls had hieroglyphics on it, though she wasn't sure because she had never _seen _hieroglyphics before. Syaoran shook his head, insisting on the fact that Egyptians belonged in Africa, along the Nile River, not in Japan. Sakura begged to the contrary, pressing that it _had _to be hieroglyphics, because what else could it _be?_ Syaoran narrowed his eyes and said if it was Egyptians, it could be the Mesopotamians, or Confuscianists, or even aliens for that matter. The carvings on the wall were vague, and told of a story of birth and death in primitive pictures.

Sakura didn't really understand it, and after tilting her head and looking at it from various angles (even standing on her head), she still couldn't comprehend them. So Syaoran took her hand, tracing each figure on the cave walls, explaining what each picture meant.

Where Syaoran touched her, tingles shot up her arm, making her feel happy and light-headed. It seemed that Syaoran had that effect on her lately, like she could smile goofily all day.

"You're so smart, Syaoran-kun!" Sakura exclaimed. "I wish I could be smart like you."

"You are," he replied instantly.

"No, not really," she ran her palm over the face of the cave, marveling at the streaks of color. The rock was cool to her touch, and she could smell the dew from the raindrops. "I know that you're saying that to be nice, and I want you to know that I _do _appreciate it."

"I think that you _are _smart," Syaoran persisted. "Plus, there are a lot of other important things in life."

"Like what?"

"Kindness, cheerfulness, the ability to always look up to the sky, as opposed to the ground below no matter the difficulty. All traits that you possess."

She laughed at that. "I think that you're delusional." 

Syaoran sighed. "Here, let me show you something." Hand in hand, they walked to the edge of the alcove, near the cliff but far enough not to tumble down. In the story books, the sky was always pure blue, and any clouds, usually only two or three, were white in large billowy puffs. Not a vestige of blackness would line the horizon. 

It was the opposite of that. 

There were tons of clouds on the horizon, all different shades of white and gray, and the sky was closer to black than blue. The wind decided to have a who's-the-strongest-blower contest, and gales were heaving and turning up winds everywhere, the waves crashing up on the beach tempestuously. 

Syaoran took Sakura's hand, pointing to an awkward-looking cloud. It was one of those clouds that people saw 10 million shapes in, depending on the perspective. 

"What do you think it is?"

"Hmmm..." she scrunched up her face. "From this side, it appears to be some sort of horse-or maybe a bottle?"

Syaoran sweatdropped. "Really?"

"Nah.

"Maybe a squirrel. That flip right there, it looks almost like-

"A tooth?"

"No-

"An ear?"

"What? I was going to say a tail, but I suppose it could be that too."

"I don't know," Sakura shook her head. "It looks too broad to be a tail."

"But it can be a tooth?" Syaoran countered.

"Anything's feasible."

Syaoran looked like he clearly couldn't fathom it. "But a tooth? How is _that _possible?"

"Then a bat?"

"Bats have hair?" he commented skeptically.

"Oh...is that what that is! I thought it was a _pony_."

"_Slow down_. A bat coming out from a pony?"

"No silly. A pony protruding from the bat."

"Oh, well how could I have missed that!" Syaoran rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to talk to me like that," Sakura pouted. "If you don't believe it, just say so!"

"Mmmmmmm..."

"What? What does "mmmmm" mean?"

"Mmmmmmmmm...."

"Syaoran-kun! What does that mean!"

"Mmmmmmmm..." he repeated.

Sakura frowned. "Are you okay, Syaoran-kun? Have you forgotten how to talk? I think you have a malady."She reached for his forehead, checking his temperature like her father did whenever he thought she was sick. He seemed fine enough; his forehead wasn't too hot. 

"Is that a new shampoo? Your hair smells nice."

She squinted. "Are you okay, Syaoran-kun?"

"It smells like cherries."

"Cherries? You've never said that before, Syaoran-kun." She gasped when a wave of knowledge exploded into her mind. "I know what you have! I saw it on tv once. It was a documentary about spontaneous combustion and insects. There's an internal bug in your body, eating your brain!"

"Sakura?"

"Syaoran-kun! This is horrible!" She was squeezing Syaoran's hand a little too hard, pacing around with one hand behind her back. "What are we going to do!"

"What?"

"I don't know! That's what I'm asking you!"

"Huh?"

"What are we going to do about the bug in your brain?"

"Mmmmh? What bug?"

"The bug in your brain feeding on your smartness! Quick! One plus one is-"

"What the hell are you talking about? What _bug _in my brain?"

"Don't panic!" She was practically pacing holes in the dirt. "Think! Think!"

"You watch too much tv."

"What did the documentary say? Something about-

"Will you calm down? I do _not _have a bug in my brain."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm _absolutely _sure that there is _no _bug in my brain."

"Then why did you say that my hair smelled nice?" she demanded.

"Duh. 'Cause it does."

"Really?"

"That's what I said, didn't I?"

"Well...if you're serious... then thank you Syaoran-kun." She was still dubious, tilting her head at him like she _still _couldn't believe it. "It's just...you've never told me that before."

"Hmmmm...Maybe I should."

"I like your hair too, Syaoran-kun!" she pipped up.

He constricted his eyes. "You're just saying that because I said that your hair smelled nice."

"You're wrong. I really do like your hair." She stepped closer to him so that she could catch the scent of his brown hair, a darker shade than hers. "It smells like trees, and...coffee. No wait....that's my necklace that smells like coffee because I dropped it in onii-chan's coffee cup this morning."

Syaoran sweat-dropped. 

"But I _still _think that the _cloud _looks like a pony and a bat!" Sakura affirmed.

They both looked up, trying to decipher once and for all the exact formation of the cloud. But everytime they saw the cloud, it shifted, changing shape to fit their imaginations. So they stood there, watching the sky that wasn't too blue, and the clouds that weren't especially white. But to Sakura, she wouldn't have cared if they were standing on a bursting volcano, and around their feet bubbles of molten lava were popping and sliding down the earth. Of course, it would probably be painful in the morning, but Sakura could deal with it, as long as Syaoran was with her. It was something about the _moment_, something _piquant _and _vibrant_, too beautiful to express in simple words. She allowed a smile to escape from her lips. If she could have stayed like this, with Syaoran next to her, breathing the same air, she would die a happy woman.

Syaoran watched her from the corner of his eye, observing the smile that passed over the calm features. She was beautiful, with her brow creased in perplexed concentration, like it got whenever she was contemplating something. Sakura snuggled closer to Syaoran, and he took off his jacket to drape it around her. A slight blush crept across her cheeks from being in such close proximity to him, but she easily relaxed against him. It just felt so _right_.

"Isn't it pretty, Syaoran-kun? The sky?" Sakura breathed.

"Huh? Oh yea."

Only it wasn't the dark clouds overhead that Syaoran thought was pretty, but the girl before him, with her lovely smiles and adorable personality. He wrapped his arms around her tighter, and Sakura leaned against his chest, so that they were both looking at the sky, which was rapidly approaching darkness. 

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Liar." 

"Nothing consequential," she pressed. "I wouldn't want to clutter your mind with the mad ravings of a crazy girl."

"I don't think you're crazy," he protested.

"But how did you know that I was thinking about something?"

"Silly, you're brow always curves up whenever you're serious or passionate about something," Syaoran traced the lashes gently to prove his point.

"Will you laugh at me?" she said hesitantly.

"Do you think I will?"

"No."

"Do think it'll always be like this?" Sakura began finally, turning from the dark sky to look at Syaoran. The tide was rising, dashing and erupting from far away to crash into the rocks nearby. They would have to go soon or risk getting lost in the night. Not that Sakura was worried; Syaoran _always _knew his way home, and the path straight ahead. He never faltered. "Do you think that everything will be like this, you and me, with everyone happy and healthy? Sometimes I wake up with nightmares, that things _will _change, and that they won't be so _perfect _anymore. I know that it's strange, and I doubt that I have an powers of prognostication or sixth sense, but...I _feel _it. And it scares me because something's coming, and I don't know what."

Syaoran stared at her. With the moonlight throwing eerie streaks of light and shadows alike, the entire cave was dark, except for Sakura's face. Her eyes were brilliant, and he could swear they were watery. Sweet tears glinted off her eyes, silvery as they slid slowly down her face. He was riveted by her tears, and he wanted to catch them in his palm, like shooting stars. Quickly, before she would get flustered and apologize for her tears like she usually did, Syaoran wiped them off. Instead of removing his hand, he stroked the side of her face until he reached her lips. They were soft pink and smelled like the sweet cherry blossom lip gloss that she used. A lock of her auburn hair fell down, and he played with yet _another _strand of wild hair that had managed to worm its way from Sakura's bun before tucking it from her eyes.

A few years ago, Sakura had grown out her hair from about shoulder-length to almost waist length. It was long and free, with curls that ranged from tiny to long, scattered wildy to and fro. Rich and thick, it fell down her shoulders in luscious waves. Syaoran loved the way it smelled, a wonderful mixture of peaches, cherries, and plums. 

"Why are you crying?" he whispered.

"Because I'm so happy," she replied simply. 

"Do you always cry when you're happy?" he teased.

"So? Do you have a problem with that?" she challenged, arching an eyebrow. "I'll like to see you do something about that."

"Maybe I will." His hands leaped down to the spot beneath her right arm, where everything was extra-sensitive.

Sakura registered where his hands were going and she gawked, trying to pull away. But it was far too late, because a moment later, tears were flowing down her to her mouth and she was struggling not to spew spit everywhere from laughing so hard. Syaoran was _tickling _her! in the one spot where she couldn't stop laughing.

"Sh-sh-shy-ao-ran!" she gasped, trying to breath. "St-st-op!"

"Why?" He continued tickling her mercilessly, laughing at her reaction. "It's not my problem that I happen to know your secret tickling spot. Isn't it fortunate for you?"

"St-st-op!" She tried evading his arms, bending down on her knees to the ground, but he followed. "H-h-h-hey!" She wiggled around on the floor while he continued tickling her, panting for breath and laughing insanely. His hands were dancing up her side, poking at points that made her giggle the hardest. For a few seconds, it felt like her chest was going to burst, and then he stopped.

She inched open her eyes, afraid that he would start another round of tickling, or decide to go on a tickling spree and never stop for all of eternity. But with her eyelids parted tentatively, she saw that Syaoran was staring at her intensely with aserious expression on his face. _That's _when she noticed the vulnerable position she was in. She was lying on her back. Syaoran was kneeling next to her, his arms at her side, almost around her waist, poised to tickle her again. 

Sakura couldn't _breathe _now. It wasn't like before when she felt queasy in the pits of her stomach, but something that spread throughout her body, passing from her fingers and tingling down to her toes. Her heart was breaking, yearning for something that she didn't know. So she lay there, her right hand reaching for Syaoran, their fingers entwining so that they were palm to palm. Sometime during the night, his hair flew before his eyes again, and she brushed it away to see his clear eyes.

There was nothing more lovely than young woman before him. The vision of an angel, with her hair spread out everywhere, and her soft emerald eyes contrasting startlingly with the moonlight that basked in _her _glow. She was wearing a light pink dress, which fluttered gently in the breeze, and her peach skin was radiating with the freshness of spring and summer.

Images whirled around his mind, spinning in rapid succession. Sakura standing in a field of flowers, holding out a patch of daffodils to him. Sakura sitting in the desk in his room, working math problems in preparation for a test while he helped her, showing her how to solve proofs and how to use the quadratic equation. Sakura and him volunteering at the hospital, wheeling patients from their room and checking on the patients to make sure they were comfortable. Sakura and him racing for first and second place in the charity marathons.

And then Syaoran was leaning down, one of his hands treading through her mane of hair. Sakura closed her eyes, tears of happiness falling once more. She wanted to feel his lips on hers, his touch against her cheek.

But the kiss never happened.

From across the beach, the sound of laughter and chatter enveloped the atmosphere, destroying the ambience. Syaoran and Sakura broke away from each other, both beet red and highly fazed. Sakura absently touched her lips, wishing that he had kissed her. It was so unexpected though, to have feelings like these...he was one of her _best friends_, and acted like a brother, what with telling her to be careful and being so gruff at times...it was an entirely new emotion, and she didn't know quite how to handle it. What if it was just a fluke? What if he didn't have the same feelings she did? What if she'd just imagined the situation, the _look _she saw his fiery eyes? What if she'd mistaken the signals...what if he wasn't really going to kiss her? The 'what if's' were endless. Her thoughts were syncopated by the approaching figures.

_What if their friendship was destroyed?_

"Where'd they go?" a slightly panicked voice asked. It was Chiharu.

"I'm sure they're around here somewhere," Tomoyo reasoned, mostly to herself than anyone else. She was worried about them. Syaoran and Sakura had gone off by themselves to explore the caves.

When the small group reached the cave, they saw two figures enshrouded in moonlight. For a few seconds, though they were sitting side by side, it seemed like there was an unsurmountable barrier between them. Then Syaoran said something, Sakura giggled, and they were off again, Sakura whispering about something or another and Syaoran listening. Syaoran pointed to the sky and Sakura shook her head. 

"Hey!" Eriol called. "Is that you? Sakura, Syaoran?"

They turned around. Sakura waved, and they ran from the cave.

Tomoyo narrowed her eyes. Was there something different about those two? Ever since they had met several years ago in fourth grade, they'd been inseparable. Her brows furrowed, frowning delicately; okay, so maybe not inseparable. Syaoran had been excessively cruel and uncaring to her, but only because Sakura had been equally kind and compassionate. For every time Sakura would draw him a picture or try to talk to him, he would counter by shooting glares and ignoring her coldly. But it didn't take very long for him to understand that Sakura _would not _just go away. After awhile, they became friends. Syaoran wasn't the type to accept people in his life on whims, so the close friends he had were cherished.

Tomoyo understood why he was mean to Sakura at first. After all, he was a member of the distinguished Li Clan, and one day his mother decided (right out of the blue) that he needed "extensive traveling experience" so she shipped her son from China to Japan, where she had connections with the ambassador. Li Yelan hoped to widen her son's knowledge before he became the leader of the Clan. Syaoran was exceedingly bitter at this, and it was no huge surprise that he took it out on the nearest person, which happened to be Sakura. 

"To climb steep hills requires slow pace at first," Eriol stated suddenly, breaking her flow of thoughts.

"William Shakespeare," she replied. "I don't understand. Why is that relevant?"

"Resolve says, 'I will.' The man says, 'I will climb this mountain. They told me it is too high, too far, too steep, too rocky and too difficult. But it's my mountain. I will climb it. You will soon see me waving from the top or dead on the side from trying,'" Eriol quoted.

"Jim Rohn," Tomyo sighed. "What does that have to do with anything?" she demanded.

Eriol just smiled that enigmatic grin of his.

"Do you think they'll every get together?" she wondered to herself after a few moments passed. 

***********

Sakura never got the kiss that she wanted. Syaoran left as soon as school got out for China, after she turned 16 but before he turned 17. Then she didn't care about the kiss because the earth fell from her world and it didn't matter that much anymore. What was once so clear and straight heaved one giant quake and was projected upside-down. In fact, nothing mattered much anymore. Just the fact that her onii-chan and otou-san were gone pretty much summed up the rest of her existence.

She had heard that Syaoran wasn't coming back. When they had thrown him the big going-away party, he'd said his mother wanted him back in China to settle his affairs, readying him to take over the Clan business at 18. So when he left, they had the knowledge that he wasn't coming back anytime soon. Sakura was sad, heart-broken even, but there was nothing she could do about it, and she'd waved good-bye with her friends on that sunny day, standing on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek and hug him.

Then he was gone, never to return.

Only weeks before school started up again for their junior year, the crash came, effectively poking massive holes in her cloud high in the sky. Events succeeding that were vague and misty, as if layered in a dream. She recalled that Syaoran was there with her on the funeral, sitting next to her, letting her cry into his chest, getting tears over his black mourning clothes. She remembered that he was holding her hand, whispering words in her ear, trying to comfort her. But most of all, she recalled how she _didn't care_. She didn't care why he was back, didn't care what he had to sacrifice to be there with her. All her feelings were ebbed, like her perceptions were ink and she had diluted them repeatedly until they were nothing more than a thin film of black. 

Foggily, she recollected that he said he had a duty to the Li Clan to finish their business, but it didn't really matter. Tomoyo told her later that he had caught a plane at 3 o'clock in the morning, leaving for the airport a few minutes after she had called him about the deaths.

Again, Sakura didn't care. Not even a speck. She took all their support for granted. Even worse, there was a portion of her being that _wanted _her friends to feel the same pain she was undergoing, so that they could _truly _feel empathy for her. It was a self-centered and dreadful thought, but she was lost in her grief and she didn't care.

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Of Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

************************** 

Sakura stood in Tomoyo's guest room, the chamber that Syaoran had stayed at for a few days. And she felt unworthy, not deserving of his help, of his kindness towards her. At the moment's difficulty, she shied away, and she was ashamed for it. Weak, and she couldn't help it. Why did he stick around with someone like her? Self-doubt and fear at losing him stung her deeply, making her wonder. 

Why _was _he still kind to her? _Was she nothing more than a burden he was counting the days to drop?_

  


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Okay...maybe not so happy after all ^_^ I think that I need to look up the definition of happy, cause this story sure isn't happy...more along the lines of angst. That reminds me...is this under the angst category? Cause it should be...maybe I'll put it there. Please review and tell me what you think about this storie! ^-^ 

  


oh yea...btw there's no magic in the storie....oh, and at the beginning, I messed up their ages...they're actually supposed to be 16 and 17...I have to go back & change it ^_^

Um...my little brother is yelling at me to get off, so I can't proof this...hope there aren't any big mistakes. ^-^ poor sakura, watching insect documentaires on tv...they scare me.

  


Ohhhhh...I got msn messenger which is cherrysakuragirl, and for aol im my screen name is auroroella. Come chat with me if you want ^_^ im so bored! 

  


Okay! Im getting off! Sheesh...my little bro is so mean ^.^ it's his birthday party, and he invited 7 guys...picture a bunch of eight graders running over everything...not a pretty picture...& what's worse is he's monopolizing the two computers we have! "Birthday privileges" he says. 

  



	6. Chapter 6 Anti Fairy Tale

Chapter 6

Once upon a Time

  


Thanx for the reviews! Next chap! Yay! Unlike my usual story habits, it didn't take months to get this chapter out...^_^ please r&r!

  


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There comes a time in everyone's life when the earth stops revolving around the sun. Then the world becomes a dull and lackluster, and one just can figure out _why_. It becomes cold, and goosebumps and shivers continually frolic up and down your skin instead of warmth. Then, you sit up into the night, staring at nothing and wondering _why_ you feel so empty inside. You comfort yourself by thinking of your loved ones and your friends, convincing yourself that you _should _be happy because they want you to be happy. And you know that it's stupid to cry over something that you cannot change, and yet you do. You draw up the old saying "Worry is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere." But it's useless because you can't tell your mind what it already knows. The heart's the problem, because it cannot always follow what the mind knows, but what the heart feels to be true.

Sakura felt so guilty, not meriting of the support Syaoran placed on her that she waded through the next few days. She began watching him constantly, afraid that he would die on her like in her nightmare. Her eyes became haggard and tired, dark circles around her eyes marking the many nights she stayed awake worrying over his life. What if he died because of her? What if the fates or kami-sama punished him for aiding someone like her? Sakura began to find herself the fault of everything, every misfortune that occurred. 

She was disappointed in herself. She knew that she was getting better! Just a few weeks ago, she had stood at the window, accepting the challenge written his Syoaran's eyes. She knew she could do it to! She had to, because it was time to move on, and deal! But she couldn't and she felt awfully weak for it.

It was like she was a mountain climber, hiking up the path, through the rocky tundra until she was _almost _at the top, only to slide down again because the ground caved under.

Everyone was getting worried. Sakura saw it in their eyes, the way her closest friends would stay after class and sometimes huddle, like they were talking about her but they didn't want her to overhear.

So months passed, until it was past October, nearing November…Sakura got worse and worse, and her friends grew more concerned as the days traversed…

*********************************************

"The fall carnival is in town, Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo exclaimed. It was another day, and they were sitting beneath the cherry blossom trees, eating lunch.

"That's nice." She tried to smile, but her eyes really hurt, and her heart wasn't in it.

"Oh Sakura-chan," Tomoyo sighed. "You really must do something about your hair. It's so pretty, and if you would only comb it at least _sometimes_... perhaps a colorful bow to bring out the hue in your eyes, to accentuate the emerald. Here, why don't I brush it for you?"

Sakura's hair had gotten a little longer and more unruly, so that the strands were stormy and untamed. Tomoyo took a brush that she had stowed away in her backpack for this exact purpose and began drawing the bristles through the tangles. Sakura relaxed a little bit. 

"That's such an exquisite necklace, Sakura-chan. Did someone give it to you, or did you purchase it?"

A light, silvery chain adorned her neck. Sakura touched it, the silver links cool to the tips of her fingers.

"It was my mother's before she died."

"How come I've never seen you wear it before?" 

Beneath the waning sun, Sakura closed her eyes. "Because I can't _see _her anymore. I've always remembered who my mother was, and everything she stood for. Everytime I saw or heard my father and my brother, I was reminded how to grow up, happy and full of life like her. But now...memories of those past days are vague, and without them to show me the way...I don't remember her as much as I used to, so I wear this to keep her close to my heart."

"Oh I see. How was your mother like your onii-chan and otou-san?"

"I saw okaa-san in otou-san, how she was so tall like him, and kind on the inside, even though onii-chan was cruel at times and hid behind a fake facade. They were both compassionate and benevolent, and otou-san used to smile just like her. We were all so happy, once..."

Soon she was asleep, falling to the gentle rhythm of the brush straggling through her hair .

****************************************************************************** 

Life moves on.

The entire class was excited about the carnival. Yamazaki was going on about his superior skills at juggling and the illustrious past of certain jugglers, until Chihura got so annoyed that she demanded to see for herself, and Yamazaki immediately shut his mouth. 

"I want to see, Yamazaki!" she commanded with authority.

"Did I tell you about the Circus Bees?" he said quickly. "Everyone thinks that they're yellow, when in actuality, their yellow and black front is only a pretext for a deeper story. Bees-

"Yamazaki!" Chihura growled. "Quit fibbing! I want to see you juggle!"

It went on like that for a while. Sakura watched from her corner, a faint smile on her lips. Then the sliding of a door caught her attention. It was Syaoran that stepped through the threshold, dressed in a crisp blue shirt and khakis. Unlike middle school and primary school, they didn't have to wear school uniforms in secondary school. She stood up to greet him, but another girl pirouetted over to him before she got there. Sakura frowned, a slight sinking sensation in her stomach.

She sat down at her desk again, picking up a copy of Catcher in the Rye, trying desperately to read but darting her eyes more often then not to the figures at the front. 

Her name was Reiko. The type of girl that every guy wanted, with shimmering blond hair, cerulean eyes, and "endowed" with a lot more "assets"than Sakura had. Loud, bodacious, and flirtatious, Reiko had guys on her like mosquitos, just waiting to suck on her blood. Only, it was _their _blood she ended up sucking before discarding them like old rags.

Reiko was talking to him, flashing her model-smile. Twirling her pencil around her finger, she dropped it and gasped in surprise. She bent down, giving him a generous view of her butt, her skirt being _that _short. When she lifted her head, Syaoran's eyes were elsewhere, searching the room until they landed on a skinny girl in the corner. It was Reiko's turn to frown as she followed his gaze. Hadn't he been paying attention? Did she have to do it again?_ He didn't even see!_

He was ignoring her now. He was looking at Sakura, the one whose family had died during the summer. Everyone loved Sakura, and tried to help her through, but Reiko thought it was pathetic. Who the hell cared? So what if her family was dead? She wanted to flap her arms around and scream "Stop looking at her! Look at me, the gorgeous one!" Her frown deepened, then lifted into a smirk. It was sympathy! He felt sympathy, that's why he was looking at her like that! That was the only explanation. No guy could resist her or choose someone else over her.

All of them came over to her, eventually. They all wanted to get into her bed. It was only a matter of time.

She opened her mouth to say something in a breathy tone, but Syaoran was across the room by now. Sakura was laying her head on her desk, messy hair strewn over her books. Syaoran grabbed her shoulders, pulling her to face him. He said something and Sakura swiped at her eyes, like she was wiping away tears.

That was impossible. Why would that bitch be crying? Reiko wanted to slap her. Because of that stupid girl, Syaoran wasn't with her.

He reached into his backpack, taking forth a package. It wasn't wrapped in fine paper, but in simple tissue paper. He edged it towards her, and Sakura stared at it awhile before shaking her head.

"You don't have to give me a gift," she protested.

"I want to. Go on. Open it."

She eyed the present reproachfully. "You're wasting your money."

"I disagree," he said firmly. "Do you see Yamazaki and Chihura over there? I'll stay here as long as they argue, until you get it into your obstinate head that I _want _you to have it."

"But Chihura and Yamazaki always argue! We'll be here infinitely."

"Then we'll be here infinitely."

"Don't be crazy! No one's that patient."

"Well I'm a patient guy. I'll wait for you."

There was a double meaning in that statement somewhere, but Sakura was too tired to figure it out. "But-but-" Finally, she took the package. She opened it, the paper crinkling as it unraveled like a flower.

"How did you know?" It was a soft plushie bear, one that she had wanted a long time.

"Is there any way that I could _not _know?" Syaoran said dryly. "You yanked my ear off yapping about it last year. In fact, I believe for exactly _two months _that's all you could think about, getting Landon. It took me awhile to find him; you have no idea what a big deal people make out of stuffed animals. He was practically on the black market!" He shook his head like he couldn't believe it. "What is it about people and their bears?"

Oh, Sakura had a pretty good idea of how long it had taken him. She had consumed many months seeking Landon, all without progress.

In the medium-sized box was the only stuffed animal of the Silent Angel series that Sakura did _not _have. One of the oldest members of the family, Landon the bear clutched a heart to his chest, wearing a somber expression. Landon was so old in bear years that he was almost obsolete. The purple bear was fuzzy and velvety, and smooth to touch. But she _couldn't _take it. When she was younger, she had searched fruitlessly for the last collection piece, but she was continuously unsuccessful. She had called toy stores and placed back orders, spending countless hours on the endeavor, but without result. Sakura knew Landon must have been terribly expensive and difficult to find.

"I can't take this," she said immediately. "It's too much."

"Nonsense. Don't be stupid. It'll help you sleep at night."

"I don't _need _help sleeping!" It came out hysterical and high-pitched, even to her own ears.

"You do," Syaraon itereated seriously. "Why else do bags trail around your eyes?"She didn't say anything, and he pressed something closer to her. Another package, slim and wrapped in orange paper."You have one more. Open it."

Sakura did, feeling as if he would sit there forever if she didn't. It was two tickets to the fall carnival.

"You can take anyone you want. Won't it be fun?" 

Her eyes were blurry. She pushed them at him, but he pushed back. His hands were over hers, warm and insistent.

"You can take anyone," he encouraged. 

"I can't take these! It's not my birthday, and I don't have anything for you! Plus, I wasn't planning on going," she argued. "I have better things to do. Like...like" she faltered, bumbling around for words.

"Well?" His eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "What is it that's so important?"

"I-I...sleep is essential," she mumbled. 

Syaoran scowled. "Unless you have an excuse, you're coming."

"I won't!" she cried like a child. "And you can't make me!"

He narrowed his eyes, eyeing her disapprovingly. Syaoran took in her boisterous brown hair, which hadn't been combed in quite a few days, dead tired eyes that had lost their shine, and gaunt arms. Bordering on anorexia, she wasn't, but only because she _refused _to eat. At least anorexic people ate something...Sakura just drifted from one day to the next. If anything, she was beyond anorexia...He was surprised that she wasn't out cold from exhaustion. _What was wrong with her?_

"Shit."

"Nani?"

"That's it!" He grabbed her arm, hauling her out of the classroom until they stood outside.

"Ow! Let go!" Syaoran was tugging on her arm, and it hurt a lot. Sakura stared desolately at her arm. There would be a bruise soon. 

Syaoran saw what he was doing and dropped her arm like a hot iron. He sighed, swearing beneath his breath. She was nothing but stick and bone.

"Syaoran-kun?"

"Don't "Syaoran-kun" me!"

"What are you doing?" she inquired anxiously. "Why were you hurting me?"

"You," he pointed a threatening finger," are _going _to that festival if I have to drag you there, tie you up with shingles, trap you in a bottle..._I don't care_! No more excuses, and no more acting sorry for whoever it is...yourself, your father and brother..._no more_. You cannot change what happened, so _live _through it like they would want you too. From now on, I am going to make sure that you _take care of yourself _if I have to stay up all night to make sure that you're sleeping! You're going to sleep, brush your hair, stop gawking, crying, and looking like you're half dead! So _don't _give me any more _crap_."

Shocked, she gaped at him. Tiny tremors ran through her body, evolving into full-fledged convulsions as tears murmured down her face. She could taste the salt filtering in her mouth, bitter and sweet. _See! _Her mind kept hissing _He's mad at you now! You're nothing but a bother to him! That's the reason he was yelling so heatedly at you! He's sick and tired of a stupid girl that mopes around all day! He's disgusted of a girl that cares about nothing but her grief!_

_ So don't accept his help! Be proud!_

She closed her eyes. The dream. Sakura reminisced on it, recollecting Syaoran's face in death. She couldn't help but think that it was a premonition. It was awful, but it was better to be scared and safe then sorry and one-moment-too late. It _had _to be her. _She _was the reason Syaoran had died in her dream; why else had the dream been sent to her? The only explanation Sakura could come up with was that somehow, because of _her_, Syaoran's death was precociousand peremptory. In some twisted way, _she _was the one at fault, for causing his death.__

Sakura could _not _allow this. Never, would she_ risk _Syaoran's life. If there was even a shadow of a doubt that his interference in her affairs preceded his death, she would _not _permit it from happening. There was never any question. No chances to pry over, no theories to test. She would not be part of something that might kill Syaoran.

Normally, Sakura wasn't a superstitious person, and she didn't believe in dreams. But those times had changed. Her father and brother were dead by the side of the road. She didn't possess any luxuries to wait and see if the dream came true. Essentially, there were two options she could follow: she could abide her time, watch to see if the dream was valid whilst the overbearing cloud of nightmares and missed-chances hovered over her, or she could act on the hunch _now_. There was a part of her that wanted to go the fair, wanted to spend time with Syaoran and heal. But she couldn't, not while his life might be on the line. The dream was still fresh; the malodorous scent of blood still lingered in her nose, reminding her of what would happen if he got too _close_. Sakura was tired of sulking in the corner, but she couldn't stop. She needed help, and now that help was being snatched from her very eyes by a dream she had months ago. She had to be strong on her own. Mental shovels would have to be taken out to dig out the strength she had on the inside. 

"Sakura? What's wrong?"

He was still staring at her, curious of the emotions that whirled over her face. By reading Sakura's face, Syaoran had _always _known what she was thinking about, like watching a movie or glancing over a novel. Along the lines of seeing through her, only it had become so easy over the years without too much effort. Whether it was an extra curve on her brow, or a small frown, or a slight smile on her lips, Syaoran was able to discern _at least _a general idea of what she was thinking about, or how she felt. _But this time, _it was like reading an abstruse book upside down. First fear whooshed through her features, then a spark of realization, and finally determination. And when he thought her swings were over, she surprised him again by looking sad, an ephemeral sadness that was followed closely by tears.

"Sakura-" he took her hand, mindful of the bruise sweltering on her wrist. Kami-sama,if she bruised that easily...he winced, knowing it was _him _that had placed the bruise on her arm. To a normal, healthy person who didn't starve herself, Syaoran's earlier grip would have been uncomfortable, but far from_ painful._ But Sakura wasn't normal or healthy. She was an extraordinary person who was extremely sick. _ It was no excuse. _He should have been able to _detect _her weakness, gauge the fact that a touch that would barely hurt a fly would have such an extreme effect on her, to make black and blue stand out on her pale skin so acutely. 

"Sakura, I'm so sorry, I-

"It's okay."Her voice sounded strangely metallic. 

"Here." Syaoran dug in his pocket for a handkerchief, handing it to her. Sakura eyed it warily before wiping it harshly against her nose. Red spots stuck out where the soft fabric didn't agree with her skin.

Something was wrong. He could tell by the way she scratched her nose with the handkerchief, by the way she was fidgeting and roving her eyes about. She was agitated by something, and afraid or nervous to tell him. _Why wasn't she telling him anything these days_? It seemed like she no long trusted him as her friend, no longer wanted his help.

"Sakura, _what's wrong_?"

"I'd rather _die _than go to the festival with you!" she blurted out. Syaoran stared blankly at her, but Sakura refused to take it back. It was true. She would sacrifice her life for _his _any day of the week.

_I've already lost my otou-san and my onii-chan...I'm not going to lose you too._

Sakura expected him to accept it. If it was her heart's desire, she expected him to nod reluctantly and respect her wishes. He was her friend, after all. Surely he understood that this was what she _wanted_, what was _best_, right?

Instead, he narrowed his eyes so that they were slits. "What did you say?" His tone was dangerous.

"I said that I would rather _die _than-

"See, there's the problem," he growled. "Because you're not going to die!"

He was enraged again. Like any of his emotion, it was hard to decipher since he kept his feelings behind an impervious wall. But when he was really irritated or frustrated, you could tell because it just radiated from him. His face was taut and drawn. Syaoran seized her arm, and Sakura endeavored to break from his grasp, but he was affixed.

"Damn it!. You once told me that to live is to look at the upside of everything," he whispered. "But you say one thing, and do another. If I didn't know you so well, I'd say that you were a hypocrite."

"To live is pain."

"To live is friendship, and love. I never believed you, until now."

He was lying. Sakura could tell. "You've always believed that," she whispered, "you just never knew it."

"Until you taught me."

"No. You always knew where it was in your soul, it was just a matter of finding something that would inspire you to evoke it."

"Now it's my turn, to inspire you."

She didn't have time to puzzle over his evasive words.

It happened faster than Sakura could blink. One minute Syaoran was encasing her arm, the next he had her most prized possession in his hands. Somehow, he managed to march up to her, unclasp the necklace around her neck, and unhook the chain that had entangled itself in her hair. Then he stood in front of her, wearing a grim frown tucked in between his eyebrows.

"This is significant to you, isn't it?"

"N-n-o!" But she couldn't help it. Tears slid down her face. It was _her _necklace, the one her own mother had left her...the only item she had to remind her. Even now, she was forgetting...

"You're lying."

"And if I am?"

"Then I swear that I'll keep if safe for you. But you won't get it back."

"You idiot!" Sakura shrieked, lunging for the chain. Syaoran danced it out of her reach, springing it above his head. Sakura jumped up, grazing on her toes to reach the slight of silver, but it was beyond her reach. In frustration and burgeoning panic, Sakura kept hoping up like a bunny, trying again and again to grasp the silver that eluded her.

"Are you done?" Syaoran said calmly. "There are terms and conditions that we can discuss."

"It's mine!You don't understand!" Sakura grabbed for his shirt, trying to get him to dislodge his hold on her necklace. She clung to him, breathing hard, her mind hazy and unfocused. Lack of sleep and food was hitting her especially hard now. 

"It was your mother's."

She stiffened. There was only one person she had told that to. Tomoyo. How could her best friend betray her?!

"You two were in this together! You had it all planned out!" she accused. "She told you so that you could take if from me!"

Syaoran held up the necklace. It shimmered, the light careening off each link, haloes scampering across the silver from the florescent lights. Thin and barely discernable, it wavered in the air, twisting like a frond in the wind.

"I'm sorry, but it's for your own good."

"My own good?" she repeated sarcastically. "What would you know about what's good for me?"

He looked at her, long and hard. Then he strode to the window, propping the pane open, letting cold air wash through the building. 

"I won't let you destroy yourself."

Thrusting his arm out, he let the necklace dangle...

"What do you want?" she screamed.

"I want you to accept my help," he replied simply. "I want you to trust me."

She felt like crying and laughing at the same time. Syaoran had _stolen _her necklace, and now her wanted her to trust him like he hadn't taken the single most _precious _possession that she owned.

Syaoran let the necklace slip a little bit, until it was almost sailing freely in the air. A bolt of peppery tears ambled down her face, and she swatted fiercely at them.

"So you're bribing me!?" she shrieked. "I assume you want me to go to that stupid festival." She laughed. "Is this some desperate ploy to get me to spend time with you? It's pathetic."

Syoaran winced, drawing back like he'd been slapped. Dark brows knitted in irritation and an emotion she didn't comprehend."Three days," he said cooly. "Spend three normal days with _anyone _you want, then I'll give you your necklace back."

"Three days? That's nothing."

"Then why won't you go to the festival with me? It's only one day, or half if you want."

Slow down...was it the tears getting in her ears, or did Syaoran sound a _hurt_? Sakura squinted, but his face was unreadable.

There was an instant when he was unguarded. His eyes were on her, trying to read the emotions that flicked over her face. Sakura took advantage of the moment and propelled forward, scrambling to the window, diving into the air. She darted a hand out to catch the soaring necklace, but Syaoran saw her and released it from his grasp. The chain plummeted to the ground, streaking to a cluster of bushes. 

And then it was gone....

All she could see was the necklace, racing through the sky...and she drove after it like a moth to the flame. She cried out, plunging out the window. Her torso surfaced the ledge when rough hands pulled her back. The window shot _down _in one fluid movement, and Sakura was thrown to the ground. 

Sakura felt like her head was on fire, and her heart was whipped from her breast. That was _her _necklace. Didn't he understand? _That _was the _only _memory she had of her mother, and it had rapidly chiseled its way to symbolizing her entire family. Onii-chan, otou-san, okaa-san... she wore the necklace over her heart, and it was comforting to feel the sturdy metal beneath her skin when she touched it, and the cool pendant over her neck.

Nadeshiko had given the necklace to her when she was young. Sakura still remembered the cheery smile she sported on her fair face, and the light tickle on the palm of her hand where the necklace fell from her mother's hand to her own. Afraid of breaking the fragile chain, she had stowed the necklace away in a box in the attic between pillows and old clothes. There it remained until she retrieved it a few days ago, tucked between old belongings. It was still as elegant as the day she first saw it. Light still scampered across the silver in the same way, dazzling her senses. Yet, Sakura didn't care if it was physically lovely or not. To her, it would be beautiful whether it was rotted and shabby, and putrid and cut her when she put it on. From her perspective, it would always be exotic and serene, and just as wild as she had seen it the first day.

How could he do this to her? How could he bribe her with her most cherished possession, to cause such longing and heart-break? 

Without registering what she was doing, Sakura beat her fists against Syaoran's chest, still _seeing _the necklace fly out the window. She sidestepped him, trying to climb out the window to find it. He stopped her, but let her continue taking out her anger and fear on him. At some point, she quit the pounding and sagged against him, tears mingling with the fabric of his shirt. To his credit, he held her while she sobbed, shoulders trembling, tears heaving from her eyes.

Finally, she looked up, into his face. What she saw surprised her.

Syaoran was deathly pale. He was staring intently at her, but from his haggard face and unfocused eyes, she could tell that he didn't really _see _her.

"God, Sakura, when you-God-I thought...." Where he gripped her arms, his hands were shaking. He touched her face, as if making sure that she was really _there_ and not a ghost. "Sakura-I was so scared..._never _do that again...promise me!"

"Syaoran, what's-

"Promise me that you won't do that again! Promise that you won't jump, or....I almost lost you!"

"I-I-I promise, but are you-why-"

"Do you really mistrust me that much?" he tried to smile, but it came out wavy.

"What?"

Syaoran drove a hand in his pocket. Something glittered, so much that Sakura had to cover her eyes to keep the miniature sun spots from blinding her.

It was her _necklace_.

"Syaoran, I-I don't understand."

"It was a piece of string, colored silver."

He hugged her. In their embrace, with his strong arms around her, Sakura allowed tears to curve down. The sting of betrayal diminished, and Sakura found that she could breathe again. Poor Sakura never had a chance though. After awhile, she realized she was laying her head on his chest, and that his clothes smelled like earth and wood, all rolled up into one. His chest was hard and firm, and when it registered how close they were, and in what position, her heart raced along at an abnormal pace. His arms were around her waist, his chin resting on her left shoulder. Sakura leaned her cheek against his shirt. The tears had dried by now.

In her entire life, there were three incidences that she wished time would stand still for. Just like in the old fairy tales, where the princess would descend from her horse after an arduous trial and be reunited with her lover. Almost like the videocassette in the VCR had malfunctioned, the scene would slow down, and show the princess running with long strides, and the prince running to meet her. Then the corny music in the background would start up, and despite herself, tears would film down her face.

_This _was one of times Sakura wished time would remain forever for, with Syoaran's arms around her. Another was the day on the beach, when they had stood up beneath the stars, delighting in each other's company. And the last was a memory that had faded with time, eroding away until only the faint remnants remained. When she was only a child, her family had been intact. Her mother was alive and well, as was her father and brother. Everyone was sitting around the table, laughing at something Sakura had just said.

She would never forget those three events in her life, no matter how old she grew.

"Here."

Sakura looked down, his voice jarring her from her thoughts. Syaoran had pulled slightly away from her, and he took both of her hands, wrapping his hands around hers. He dropped something slinky inside, cool and familiar. Sakura gasped.

It was her necklace.

She blinked at him. She tried to open her hands from his grasp, but he held her hands shut, the necklace inside.

"Just tell me one thing. Is there something else that's bothering you, besides their death? There has to be. I see it in your eyes."

She hesitated. "Yes."

"What?"

"I'm scared."

"Of what?" he asked softly.

"I'm scared that you'll be gone. I'm scared that everyone will disappear one day, and leave me here alone, without anyone to be with or talk to. I'm scared that one moment everything will be normal, and the next I'll wake up to nothing but the empty sound of infinity drumming in my ears with the thumping of my heart as the only beat."

"So you push everyone away. You hope that by doing this, you won't feel pain and loss again. You think it's impossible to feel anguish without joy, so you have nothing to do with happiness."

"How did you know?"

"It's obvious."

"Tragedies aren't tragic without comedy," she pointed out. "Remember Romeo and Juliet? There were light, bouncy parts in the play, and it helped to highlight the later tragedies that occurred. If it weren't for the comic relief, the play wouldn't be that sad."

"So?"

"So...can't you make a connection to real life?"

"Can you?"

"I-I think so."

"I don't."

His hands were still over hers, keeping her from opening her hands to see the necklace inside.

"Did you know," he began thoughtfully, "that I felt the same way after one of my cousins died? He was my best friend, intelligent and adept at everything. His name was Syshuma, and he was supposed to inherit the seat as the head of the Clan, but when he died, it was turned over to me."

"Oh, Syaoran-kun...

"I had to assume his duties after that. From day one after his death, instead of preparing for his funeral and mourning, the Elders led me into the conference room and told me straight-off that I would become new leader by inheritance. The Elders said that I didn't have a chance, and they proclaimed that I should get used to it because there would be no other options other than death. I opted to stay alive."

"But in a way, I believed that it was good for me because it prevented me from getting too close to anyone."

"What a lonely way to grow up."

"It's no different from the way that you're choosing to live."

That's when Syaoran noticed the hot drops falling from her eyes. He stared in disbelief.

"Hey! What are you doing!?"

Despite herself, Sakura smiled. "I'm crying, silly."

"Why?"

"Because I want to."

"Why?" 

"I just told you why."

Syaoran gaped. "You're not-

"Not what?"

"Crying for me, are you?"

"And if I am?"

"Then stop it. I don't deserve your tears. It happened a long time ago."

"Aren't I allowed the right to cry for anyone that I choose?" she challenged.

"Then cry for yourself."

"Why?"

"Because tears possess the power to heal."

"Oh," Sakura tiltled her head, trying to imagine Syaoran crying. Somehow, she couldn't picture it. Syaoran struck her as the type of person that never cried. "Do you ever cry, Syaoran-kun?"

"No."

"I think you should."

"Why?"

"Because then you wouldn't look so serious all the time. Plus, if you store it up, someday it'll explode from the inside and spread throughout the rest of your body. Just like the waterfall effect, when it breaks open, the flow will be more painful and powerful. When I was younger, my otou-san used to tell that story to me to comfort me whenever my onii-chan teased me about crying. Otou-san said that if onii-chan never cried, he would be the waterfall behind the dam, contributing more tears until the encasement overflowed from too much sorrow or not enough strength."

"Do you think I have too much sorrow?"

"I do."

"Is there such as thing as crying too much, drowning in your own sorrows?" Syaoran whispered. 

"There is," she answered quietly.

"How do you know?"

"Because I drown in my tears sometimes. Not literally...but when you cry a lot, it seems that the little things hurt you more, touch you more, since you're more vulnerable. For example, I had a dream a while ago that-

"You shouldn't believe in dreams."

"But sometimes they're important, even prophetic."

"Or, they make you paranoid and sensitive to the monsters in the closet that just aren't there. The internal darkness in your mind that is always present no matter where you are."

"No," Sakura insisted. "This was important. I have to tell you because it involved you and-

"I see," Syaoran lifted an eyebrow suggestively, grinning. "You were dreaming about me."

"Well, yes, I- " She paused, and when his full meaning hit her, Sakura turned beet red. "N-n-o-o-o-ooo...not like that!"

"Right."

"Syaoran-kun!"

"What? All I said was "right."

"But it was your tone! It was rather....

"Mmmm?"

"Deep."

"Deep?"

"No! Sarcastic."

"Oh."

Sakura shook her head. "You're so silly sometimes, Syoaran-kun! I-

Then she couldn't breath because Syaoran wrapped her up into another embrace. His arms encased her protectively, and a peculiar butterfly sensation wallowed in her stomach. He was breathing near her ear, and light air kissed the tips of her face.

"I'm so glad you're alive, Sakura."

Sakura wanted to melt in his grasp. She wanted the moment to freeze, to feel his chest beneath her face, the slight up-and-down sensation as he breathed each breath. But she cared too much about him, and the dream that foretold his death still loomed above her. She had to tell him because his life might be in danger!

"Syaoran, about my dream, I-

"Syaoran-kun!" a light, soft voice exclaimed. "Whatever are you doing outside? Sensei is about to start class soon, and we wouldn't want to miss you!"

It was Reiko, standing elegantly in the doorway. It was like an invisible breeze wafted through the building, because her long blond-red hair was blowing about. She looked like a goddess, and she _knew _it. Next to her, Sakura was an immature stick figure, too skinny to be curvaceous like Reiko was. She paled in comparison, and she felt insignificant and tiny next to Reiko. 

So Sakura clung to Syaoran, knowing that it was only a few more treasured moments before Syaoran went to Reiko. She closed her eyes, memorizing the way Syaoran felt against her, the way his arms fit around her comfortably, like all the puzzle pieces falling together effortlessly. She stored in her mind the way he was looking at her now, with his eyes concerned and worried for _her_. She would forever remember the way he made her heart ache, made her feel like she wasn't alone in the world. At least now, she wouldn't have to worry about her dream coming true. Syaoran would spend all his time with Reiko now, and not with her, which would prevent the dream from playing out.

Sakura had lost all traces of self-esteem, so that in her mind, there was not one percent that Syoaran would choose her over a girl like Reiko.

"Come Syaoran-kun! Sensei is waiting!" _I'm waiting too..._

She called him like a dog! Indignation and fury coursed through Sakura's veins.

Syaoran barely flicked a glance at her. 

"Do you need something?" he asked pointedly.

"Sensei is about to teach." Reiko smiled, all sugary sweet.

"And?"

"Shouldn't you come inside? Sakura-_chan_ can stay outside and think by herself."

Sakura moved out of their embrace, but Syaoran held her tighter.

"Sakura wants me to stay with her."

"Well, sure, doesn't every girl? But _you _don't want to stay in this stuffy old hallway, do you?"

"Actually, now that you've asked, I prefer it."

Reiko huffed. Since Syaoran wasn't listening to her, she turned instead to Sakura. 

"Sakura-chan, won't you come inside?" she tutted. "I can comb your hair so that it's shiny like mine. Won't it be fun!"

Sakura stepped forward. Reiko had one of those smooth, hypnotizing voices. If you weren't careful, she would make you do things that you didn't want to do. It wasn't about any magic like in the fairy tales, but just a quality in her voice that fed off of the weak. And Sakura _was _weak. She hadn't felt like herself in many months, and she was easy prey for people like Reiko who thrived where the starved fell. Reiko's voice was like a lullaby, and she made it so _easy _to obey her.

"Sakura, where are you going?"Syaoran demanded when he felt her pull away from him.

"Inside."

"Why?"

Syaoran sighed when she didn't answer. He moved closer to her, until his lips hovered over her ear, almost touching. He whispered something, tickling her ear. 

And the "spell" was broken. Sakura giggled, lightly slapping Syaoran. "You're so mean! She does not look like a shark!"

"Ah ha! A laugh! I made the beautiful Princess Sakura laugh!"

"And who are you? The daring Prince Syaoran?"

And just like when they were young, they began to form a game. It was a familiar game, one where they would think of a story and make each version more imaginative and exaggerated than the last.

Syaoran cleared his throat. "Actually, I'm the audacious, handsome, popular, brilliant-

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Try egotistical, grumpy-

-village peasant."

"Really? You're a village peasant?"

"Uh-huh."

Reiko looked from one to the other, wearing a confused expression.

"Wait, so how did we meet?" Sakura asked.

"Let's see...ahh yes. You fell out of a cart while at the supermarket."

"What was I doing in a cart?

"You were trying to escape castle life because it was too stifling. You're fath-your nurse prohibited you from sliding down banisters, and you had to wear dresses and follow the rules of etiquette."

"Yea, that sounds boring," Sakura agreed. "I probably would have run away, but using a more creative method."

"Nah. You aren't a very creative person. When you thought of the cart, you had to stretch your brain capacity. At first, you wanted to just walk out, but your servants advised against it. They said that guards were posted at the entrances 24/7, and that they'd most likely notice the princess escaping through the drawbridge."

"What!?"

"That's why you have me. I'm the intelligent one." 

"I'm not sure that I appreciate the flow of this story," Sakura pouted. 

"Don't worry...you're only a little dense because your advisers told you everything to do whilst you were a noble. But once you break out into the real world, you learn about life and gain experiences along the way."

"There has to be a long journey and three bad guys too."

"Right. I'm getting to-

"Ahem!"

They were so engrossed in forming their own world/story that they didn't notice until Reiko had hmmmphed three times. By then, she was extremely red in the face, and a few hairs stuck out from her head like she had tried to pull them out of frustration. Sakura suspected that either an earthquake had struck, or she had tried to hurl objects at them because a few pictures were crooked and lying akimbo on the floor.

After they heard her, Syaoran pointedly ignored her, so Sakura followed his lead. 

"So after we meet the purple goblin-

"Why purple?" Syaoran wondered. "Last time I checked, goblins were green or white."

"Who's the one without creativity?" Sakura shot back. "Maybe we should modify the characters a bit. How about I'm the one with the ideas, and you're the realists that sees from point A to point B?"

"Fair enough."

"So then-

"Ahem! Ahem! Ahem! Ahem!"

Sakura looked at Reiko, who seemed to be having some sort of epilepsy. She was starting to get worried, because Reiko was saying "Ahem" one too many times and she could swear her eyes were getting larger as the seconds passed.

"Syaoran-kun, do you think she's okay?"

Syaoran didn't even look at Reiko. "She'll be fine."

"How do you know? You have to look to make sure. Guessing-

"So after the evil witch meets her end-

Sakura blinked. "Wait...who's the evil witch?"

Syaoran indicated the girl who was now shouting something incomprehensible.

"Ah. I see."

"She tried to hypnotize you, but I came just in the nick-of-time to save you."

"How?"

"I made you laugh."

"Oh really..."Sakura giggled. "That's quite familiar..." 

Then she realized that the _necklace _was in her palm, and that it was now in her possession. Syaoran had returned it to her after all, and she hadn't even noticed! Yet, for some reason, it didn't feel right, so Sakura forced the chain into Syaoran's hand so that he had it once more. 

Surprised, Syaoran looked at her. The necklace lay in his hand where Sakura had dropped it."Why? I thought it meant a lot to you."

"It does, but we had a deal, didn't we? I trust you not to lose or break it, and princesses don't break their promises."

"Well, neither do village peasants."

"Hmmm...three _normal _days...you're not very creative, Syoaran-kun. I could have come up with something more dramatic."

"Mmm..."

"Well," Sakura stuck her hand out playfully. "Aren't you going to kiss my hand?"

"Why?"

"'Cause I'm the princess."

"Oh, so is there a mandate that the village peasant must kiss the hand of the princess?"

"No, but there's a mandate that the audacious, handsome, popular, and brilliant village peasant must kiss the hand of the princess."

"Ah. I knew that would come back to haunt me," Syaoran groaned. He eyed her, a mischievous sparkle in his amber eyes. "What if the village peasant was brave?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if the village peasant was secretly in love with the princess?"

"I though the village peasant was just a guide."

"If he was _more _than that, what would the princess say to a kiss on the lips?"

Sakura laughed. Syaoran was crazy! "Why are we changing the story? All stories have to have a structure, a base-

-that's flexible, changeable."

"True enough."

"Well, what would the princess say?"

It was something about the way Syaoran watched her. His eyes were sharper, yet softer on her. What was he watching her like that? She felt like a flower, reserved and aloof until the sun came out to part her petals and let the light blaze through. His eyes on her were the sun, kissing the entrapped blossom until it felt secure enough to open its eyes. If it was raining, Syaoran would be an umbrella for her, shielding her from the harsh drops. And if it was cold, and she was shaking and her lips blue from hypothermia, Syaoran would appear with warm blankets and medicine, holding out a bowl of soup for her. She saw all these images in his eyes, just revolving around.

And she wanted to cry out, because she could never let someone get that close to her, most of all Syaoran, at the risk of losing him. Because if that ever happened, there was _no doubt_ that she would not be able to go on. _You're crazy_ her mind was telling her _this is just a game, a hypothetical game_.._he doesn't feel that way about you_...Yet, why did she want him to feel that way about her? And yet she didn't, because she didn't want the events of her nightmare to come true.

So just in case, to stop the dream from occurring, Sakura said something that the princess would never do. 

"The princess would scoff and say that she could never be involved with a peasant."

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THE END

A LA FIN

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HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oopps...I didn't mean to put that there O.o I was j/k! It's not the end ^_^ Sorry if I gave you a heart attack (but I doubt that anyone is reading this anyway...so sad :( )! ^.^

Golly be...I think that I've finally hit plot! ^-^ yay! Please review and tell me what you think!

Um..my dad is yelling at me to play tennis now. Didn't have time to edit...uh oh....

  



	7. Chapter 7 My Hikari

Chapter 7

Once Upon a Time

Disclaimer: refer to past chaps..don't own CCS..."Angel" belongs to Sarah McLachlan...great, haunting song...love it...that's the song towards the end, btw ^_^

  


Okay...back again! Thanx for the reviews! I'm still experiencing post-plot-finding euphoria, which means that im going to spin out stories as fast as I can ^_^ yay...there's cute parts in this! I cut back on the angst a little...a little...actually, in the beginning its angsty...but just the beginning...at least, I think so...^.^

btw...I've seen the first CCS movie & the second CCS movie! So happy & kawaii ^_^

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Chapter 7

  


_Hmmm....three days_....Sakura mulled over this, dreaming up how she would spend the days. One with Tomoyo, one with Chiharu and Yamazaki, one with Rika or Naoko. 

In her heart, she wanted to reserve a day for Syaoran, but then she recalled the nightmare, and the pain with losing her family. Syaoran was as close to her as the pendant she used to wear near her heart, the one that held the memories of her otou-san, okaa-san, and onii-chan. Could she bear losing one that she loved _again_?

Over her head, on the headstand, Landon the bear sat watching her from his vantage point. Sakura lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. She reached above to take Landon, setting him next to her. She hugged him, tears slipping from her closed eyes. Why couldn't she fall asleep anymore? Why couldn't she eat anymore?

Sakura wanted to live, but every time the smell of oatmeal or dumplings wafted to her nose, her stomach turned, and she wanted to throw up. That was her usual reaction to food. The only thing she could eat without heaving in the sink was bananas and grapes, and _that _wasn't an impressive diet to live on. Whenever Sonomi Daidouji cooked, Sakura would end up hiding most, if not all, of her food in napkins or flushing it down the toilet. She was sure that Tomoyo noticed, and Sakura could feel her friend's disapproving gaze on her. Tomoyo never said anything, but instead began pushing more bananas and grapes on the table. When it came down to it, what could Tomoyo do? She couldn't _force _the food down her throat, so she settled for supplying Sakura with all the fruit she wanted. Even this Sakura ate in small amounts, lest her delicate stomach act up again.

As for sleeping, every time the darkness set in and her mind began to slide in the doors of sand, the horrible dreams would seep through the corners. In the middle of the night, she would wake up in a cold sweat, and then she would sit up the rest of the evening and into the dawn. Eyes wide with terror, images would play over her mind, each picture more grotesque than the last. It would come as a final relief when the sun ascended into the sky, and the world was whisked into vivid gold. Light would stalk into the room, and then Sakura would open her bloodshot eyes and waddle to the shower, turning the water on full heat and not feeling any warmth. Tears mingling freely with the water, it felt good to cry.

That particular day, more than a week after Syaoran had given her the tickets, it was Sunday afternoon, and Sakura had just gotten out of the shower after contemplating the walls for half of the day. She lay sprawled across the bed, wrapped only in a towel, with wet auburn hair escaping from the turban. She clutched Landon bear to her breasts, thinking of Syaoran.

For the many years she had known him, she _thought _that she understood him. Syaoran was innately considerate and kind on the inside, but somewhat hesitant to show it on the outside. Thus, he acted cold and cruel sometimes, but only when he was really worried or trying to be aloof on _purpose_. But then _why _did he buy her a present like Landon bear?

What was his _message_?

Sakura had looked for the final piece of her collection, Landon bear, for a couple of years. So she knew that it was virtually _impossible_. The only way to secure it was to travel around the world and make sure that it _existed _there. A lot of the potential sellers had fake bears, and the _only _way to identify a genuine Landon bear was to look at the tag. The tag was a navy blue heart with the sign of an angel, its wings widespread, marking an authentic bear of the Silent Angel series. 

Just the like the watermark on the yen currency; yen itself could be counterfeit, but there was a way to tell if it was real it you knew how to _identify _the _right _symbols and watermark. Sakura knew the watermark of Landon by heart. When she had gone through with a fine-tooth comb for the bear, several cases arose when some toy stores _claimed _to have the bear, when really it was _pseudo_.

Part of the craze for Landon was the treasure hunt. Only _5 _bears existed in the world, and they were _each _worth a fortune. When they were released into the world, many years ago, all the toy stores took inventory to check if they were the ones with one of the special bears. The bears were set out into the world _randomly_, and could be anywhere, shipped to Japan, China, Uzbekistan, Liberia, or even America. 

And _she _had one of them. 

Sakura held the tag up to the light, the sun loping through the closed curtains. It was the right watermark, which could _only _be created with _one _unique machine that had been destroyed afterwards. It was a strange sensation, holding the bear that everyone wanted. She knew that in the world, there were only _four _more that existed. Unlike when you stared at the stars, and wondered how many people were watching the same star, she _knew _how many people had the bear.

_Why did Syaoran give her something like this? Was he trying to tell her something?_

There was a rumor that inside each of the five bears, a _diamond _ring was embedded inside the plush. 5 bears, 5 different colors, 5 different rings. One ring was supposed to be silver, another gold, turquoise, pink, and the last gray. Each ring symbolized the true nature of the owner.

However, there was a catch. In order to discover the ring color, one had to tear open the bear. To find the ring, the bear would be destroyed.

Sakura would never tear open Landon, not even for a diamond ring. One of the reasons the oldest bear of the Silent Angel series was so desired was _because _of the diamond ring. After all, how many stuffed animals had diamond rings in them? It wasn't exactly an everyday prize...it would make a romantic engagement present, or even a wedding gift, among lovers...

_So what in the world did Syaoran mean by giving it to her?_

A few minutes passed and Sakura replaced Landon on the headboard.

She stretched out on her stomach, shivering because her hair was still wet. The dampness soaked into the roots of her hair, and Sakura began sneezing. Rubbing her nose, she glanced at the festival tickets Syaoran-kun had given her, which were beside Landon on the headboard.

Would she go? It was the least she could do after Syaoran had given her a present like Landon. He had specifically asked her to go, not Reiko or any of the other pretty, popular girls, and it made Sakura feel special. Kind of like she meant a lot to him, only that was impossible, but still...it was nice to dream.

It made her happy inside, looking at the tickets. If she did go to the fair, it would be hard. The milling crowds, so many people...the noise...she wasn't sure that she could handle it. Months had traversed since she had gone to a social event, other than school.

As she was about to close her eyes, she saw a pinch of gold coming from the end of the room. There, the planks were slightly separated.

She stood up, tapping against the wood. Was it a secret passage? She pushed on the loose board, the doors parting with a small creak. It was a walk-in closet. The sense of adventure swooped in her veins, and Sakura stepped inside. The closet was old and musty, and contained old-fashioned clothes from years ago. Sakura explored the outfits, deciding they must have been for old plays and dress up clothes. During high school, Sonomi had been an actress in theater class, so it made sense that the clothes would be saved from old scenes.

Each outfit told its own story. There were long, sleek dresses, covered in bows and other ornate fabrics. Clown costumes, ball gowns, preppy uniforms, suits, short skits, long skirts, dance leotards, jazz pants, kimonos...among the many rows of outfits that accumulated over the years. Every outfit _imaginable _could be found here.

Sakura smiled to herself, leafing through the sets, touching the satin and cotton, velvet and wool. As she pushed outfits aside, they swished or jangled against one another. It was like an instrument: if she brushed one or the other, she could hear a slight discord of clinks, sometimes melodious lines of chimes if the outfit had bells. The room smelled aromatic, as if a sweet candle had burned to stubs recently. As Sakura wandered from corner to corner, she noticed that different spots in the room gave off a unique scent. Some places were piney, others moldy and dank.

A dress at the far end of the room caught her attention. 

Sakura walked to it. Fascinated, she fingered the light material, curious of the way the cotton shimmered. The dress was long, pale pink so that it was almost white. Pink ribbons descending in flurries, with a tiny bodice and low neckline. Almost like liquid, the full dress fell in one fluid movement, the cloth iridescent and soft. Though the light wasn't bright in the room, sparkles spotted the dress. It was glazed with color and _glowed _with gloss.

It was beautiful. 

"You should try it on," came a deep voice.

Sakura whirled around. It took a few moments to adjust to the change of light.

Syaoran stood in the doorway. 

She gasped. _Was it really Syaoran?_ She blinked several times to make sure, but he wasn't a vision. _When did he get so...handsome?_ Standing with light behind him, he looked older, more grown up than her. He was suddenly a lot taller; not terribly tall, but enough so that if he held her, she could look up into his eyes, and he could prop his head on her shoulder, like last week when they had embraced...His amber eyes were darker, and held more fire than she remembered...when was the last time she had really _noticed _his eyes? Her heart beat furiously.

A small smile curved on his lips.

"Syaoran-kun!"

"Sakura."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came by to check on you. You should really try the dress on."

It took Sakura a few moments to realize Syaoran was talking to her. She was preoccupied staring at him, trying to recall what was so _different _about him. 

_How quickly life can turn around...in an instant..._

"Sakura, are you okay?" In one long stride, Syaoran reached her, holding her two clasped hands between his warm ones. In an instant, Sakura's cold hands were melting in his. Syaoran looked intently into her eyes, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

A soft blush crept over her cheeks. Without thinking, Sakura jumped up to wrap her arms around Syaoran's neck, heedless of the bare towel she wore. Surprised, Syaoran's arms went around her waist instinctively.

"In the arms of the angel, fly away from here..." Sakura sang. "Will you find some comfort here...

"Who's the angel?"

"You."

"I beg to differ. I think that you are."

Sakura giggled and pulled away from him.

"That was quite the introduction. Did you miss me? And more importantly, do I get a hug every time?" he teased. 

"Don't flatter yourself!"

Syaoran chuckled, following her hand as she wove through the lines of clothing. They stopped at one rack. Sakura took the hanger off, pressing the fabric into Syaoran's hands. On second thought, she took the outfit from Syaoran's hands and instructed him to stay still.

"Don't move." 

"Yes ma'am."

She walked behind him, holding the costume against Syaoran's back to make sure that it fit. It was the perfect size.

"This is _yours _for the story that we made. Isn't it suitable for the role? Look at these," she showed him the fringes, "these can represent the rags, and the musty appearance is adequate for the shabby background of a peasant. It'll create the sense that you lead a poor life."

Syaoran sweatdropped. "It's a clown costume," he protested.

"No it's not! It's perfect for the village peasant!"

"I think that it's silly. The bright colors and stars kind of give it away."

"Fine!" Sakura pouted. "I see how it is! You aren't willing to listen to my ideas, because they're mind and not yours!"

Syaoran grinned at her. "Nah. I just like to see you upset. You're kinda cute then."

She blanched, but tried to cover it up by acting outraged. "Are you implying that I'm only cute when I argue with you? That's the worst compliment I've ever heard!"

"I never meant that."

"Then what _did _you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. You read too much between the lines," he jibbed, a funny look in his eyes. 

"Hmpf."

"Where's the dress?" he implored suddenly.

"What dress?"

He grabbed her arm, yanking her along behind him as he pushed past idle racks. "Hmmm...where was that dress you were holding?"

"Why?" 

"Because I want to see you in it, silly."

"It's right here." She indicated the rack, and when Syaoran saw it he pulled the dress from the hanger.

"Well, go on, try it," he probed.

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Right here, right now?"

"Duh."

"Syoaran-kun, you know I'm not that type of girl!"she answered, outraged.

"Really? You had me mistaken,"he teased. 

"Syaoran-kun! I'm not going to change in front of you!"

He rolled his eyes, ushering her into an adjacent room and slamming the door shut. 

"I was just kidding. Sheesh. Change in there."

Sakura came out a few moments later. Still wrapped in her towel, she sprinted through the room, coming back with the peasant outfit. 

"Hey, where are you- 

Then her head popped out. "If I have to try this on, then you do too!" Sakura proclaimed. Triumphantly, she whisked the costume before his face. 

Syaoran took one look at it and shook his head.

"Uh-uh. _No way_ am I wearing that preposterous thing!"

"Then why do I have to put this on?" she challenged. "It's only fair." When she saw that Syaoran was about to open his mouth to protest, she made her best puppy face. Sure enough, as soon as Syaoran saw, his face softened, and he groaned, massaging his forehead.

"Fine. Will you stop with that face? You _know _that I can't say 'no' to it," Syaoran mumbled. 

"I know," Sakura beamed, depositing the costume in his arms. 

He went inside the dressing room and changed while Sakura stood outside, humming a song. When he was done, he just stood in the room, glancing at Sakura through the slits in the door. He let a smile touch his features. 

Sakura hadn't sang in a long time. She looked so carefree, and spirited...

"I'm done," he announced. With a flourish, he stepped out, bowing to Sakura.

"Oh Syaoran-kun! You look so handsome!" she exclaimed. 

"Right."

"You do," she insisted. Even Sakura had to admit that the peasant costume wasn't much, but Syoaran managed to bring out the best in it. The costume was along the lines of Robin Hood: green vest, green pants, leather frills. But it matched with his eyes and his strong complexion. He looked graceful and powerful, tall and well built, a creature of the forest and earth. Sakura could imagine the masses of girls drooling over him...

He looked like a Prince.

"Now it's my turn." She went in the room with the dress in tow. At first, she couldn't bring herself to try it on. It was too beautiful and she felt that she would soil its beauty if she wore it.

"Hurry up Sakura," Syaoran grumbled. "What's taking you so long?"

"I don't know if I can wear it," she replied thoughtfully.

"Why not?"

"It's too lovely."

"So?"_So are you..._

"I wouldn't give it justice."

"Nonsense."

"But-

"If I have to wear this pathetic outfit, then _you _are going to discover some confidence inside yourself to put the dress on," Syoaran said firmly. "I won't hear it anymore. You _are _beautiful, more so than any dress could be."_Or anyone else..._

_Syaoran thought she was beautiful?_

The statement shocked her so much that she reached for the dress. Reluctantly she shed from the towel and stood only in her underwear. Then she took the dress, sliding it over her head and pushing the folds down until they reached the ground. She looked at herself in the mirror. Maybe it wasn't so bad to be as thin as she was, because the dress fit perfectly. 

She took a big breath. What would Syaoran think? The dress was too mature for her. It wasn't that it was _too _lowcut or sexy, but that the colors were pale and fresh, and the fabric so fine. The girl she saw in the mirror could _not _be her. The girl in the mirror had glassy eyes, delicate face, and looked tall and slender. 

The only thought Sakura had in her mind was that the mirror was _broken_.

Taking the towel and folding it, she placed it on the bench and opened the door.

When the door moved back all the way, Syaoran gawked at her.

"Sakura, is that you?"

_Who else would it be? _"Of course."

Syaoran couldn't stop staring at her. She was an exquisite angel, with her tempestuous auburn hair falling half in windblown curls, the other half straight. Never had he seen eyes so innocent and clear, the green specks dancing across her iris. All he wanted to do was caress her face, to feel the cream skin beneath his touch. With pride and relief, he saw that she looking better, more composed and less weary. 

He was proud of her. 

The dress fell around her in tresses, the strips of cloth crimson and pink dangling from the bodice. There was a sweet quality about her that other girls could only dream to have, but it came so natural to her. Did she know how gorgeous she was, both in mind and body? Did she know how much _control, restraint _he had to exercise not to sweep her off her feet right _now_? Not to _touch _her, cradle her head, hold her against his chest.

Syaoran wanted to kiss her, he always had. But she was still weak, and depressed, and he would have to wait. He didn't want to take advantage of her; he wanted their relationship to be _real_.

He would always wait for her. _Did she know?_

When was it that he'd fallen in love with her? Was it now, weeks ago, or even years, when they'd first met? She was the first person to greet him in Japan, with her bright smile that managed to light up the entire class room, despite the fact that they'd lost electricity that day. He was mad at the Elders, cursing his mother and sisters in Chinese beneath his breath, and she'd just popped out of nowhere, thrusting out her hand for him to shake.

"My name's Sakura Kinomoto. What's your name?"she'd said, oblivious to the killer glares he shot her.

That was _his _Sakura. Always happy and genki, at least until their death. It took him a few moments to come back to reality.

Sakura walked out of the dressing room, the dress rustling behind her. "Syaoran-kun, are you okay?" she asked worriedly. She tapped his cheek for good measure. _Why was he staring at her like that? _"Syaoran-kun?" She touched his other cheek. "Are you-

Syaoran took her hand, turning her around to that her back was to him. 

"Lift up your hair."

Sakura did, her eyebrows kneed together in confusion.

Something cold slipped on her neck. __

"Syaoran, that's my necklace! I thought that we had a d-

"Shhh! We do. But just for today..."

A large hand went over her mouth, stopping the flow of words. Syaraon bowed, holding out his hand gallantly.

"Will the glamourous princess honor me with a dance?"

Sakura giggled, a blush glossing on her cheeks. "Only if the fair pilgrim has honorable intentions. Palm to palm then."

"Pilgrim?"

"Romeo and Juliet."

"Ahh."

They whirled around the room, Sakura's skirts twirling vividly, Syaoran's arm around her waist. 

Sakura was normally a clumsy person, and now was no exception. Every now and then, she would slip, and the arm around her waist would get tighter. Sakura didn't mind; she felt safe in his arms, like nothing could harm her. Syaoran was a wonderful dancer, smooth and sure of his steps...she thought with some jealousy that he'd had a lot of practice, probably with tons of other girls. He was kind and very attractive, and she saw the way other girls looked at him. But what did it matter? He was just a friend, right? But then why did that feeling eat away at her heart, the one that spoke of loneliness and fear? She was frightened that he would leave her, frightened that he would d-...

Did Syaoran hold others girls like he did her? How many other girls had he danced with before? Did he make other girls' breaths short and their heart race along like hers? Did he make other girls' blush like she was now? 

Did he make other girls feel weak in the knees, and helpless?

It was like a dream, one that would end all too soon.

"Spend all your time waiting...for that second chance...for a break that would make it okay," she sang.

Syaoran held her arm up, and she spun beneath.

_There's always some reason, to feel not good enough, and it's hard at the end of the day...I need some distraction, oh beautiful release, memories seep from my veins..they may be empty...to find some peace tonight..._

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to fly?"she whispered.

"I don't need to. I am flying, right now."

She laughed. Syaoran pulled her closer, until it was a struggle to calm down her racing heartbeat. 

She buried her head in his chest.

_ "in the arms of the angel...fly away, from here....from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you feel, you are born from the wreckage, of your surly memories....in the arms of the angel, may you find...some comfort here..."_

In that moment, she forgot everything. She was the princess, dancing with the hottest, smartest, bravest village peasant, whose shirt smelled like trees and bark. She was safe; he would protect her. Sakura snuggled closer to him, forgetting her worries as Syaoran ran a hand through her hair, back and forth. The regular rhythm tranquilized her, and her eyelids were getting heavy. 

Then she was asleep, a deep slumber without nightmares, the first that she'd had in months. Asleep in his arms...

"_so tired of the straight life, and everywhere you turn, vultures and thieves at your back, storm keep on twisting, keep on building the lies, that you make up for all that you lack, don't make no difference, escaping one last time, it's easier to believe..." _

"Sakura?" Syaoran looked down. She was asleep, her eye closed in peace. And then he couldn't restrain himself. He had to taste her. Syaoran bent down, brushing her lips with his. She was surprisingly warm, though a little cold. When their lips touched, she responded instantly, pressing against him passionately. He transferred some of the heat from his mouth, and Sakura warmed against him. Her lips were sweet and tender.

"Syaoran-kun? Hikari?" she mumbled. "Hikari, aishit-" then she was out again, lying sandwiched between his chest and the arms that surrounded her. 

He pulled back from the kiss, his heart pounding. Was she awake? Would she remember? She tasted like he had always imagined: cherries, blossoms, spring...he savored her flavor, drinking in the way her hair smelled free,like a meadow of herbs. He smiled.

"Sakura, I love you..."

And they swayed together like elms in the fields, Sakura dozing blessedly in his arms.

_"in this sweet madness, oh there's glory and sadness...bring me to my knees, in the arms of the angel...fly away from here..."_

********************************************************************** 

"This is another guest room, where Sakura-chan is staying. It has some old costumes that my mom used in many of the plays in high school. We can use some of them for theater class, but a lot of them are old and unusable."

Tomoyo opened the door, ushering people inside. When she saw Sakura and Syaoran dancing slowly in each other's arms, her eyes widened. "Kawaii!" she squealed.

Friends from school stood behind her, some of them gasping, others uttering similar cries of "kawaii." Tomoyo noticed that some girls eyeballed Sakura enviously, and she smiled smugly.

"Let's try this room later," she advised, forcing people out. 

"That Kinomoto is so lucky!" some girls exalted. 

"Finally!" Naoko exclaimed.

"She doesn't deserve him," Reiko hissed.

Tomoyo turned to the girl at the back. She would not _stand _for someone insulting Sakura.

"Sakura deserves _everything _she has, and _more_," Tomoyo said steely. "She has even comforted _you _when you were sad; she's comforted all of us with her smiles and good humor. For all of us, she's been there when we were low, when we wanted the world to fall down to end our misery. With a simple smile, some words of consideration; from her, it goes a _long _way. Just _that _single act of kindness; it made you feel loved and cared for, didn't it? 

"And now _her _world has fallen down, and you even _dare _to say that to _me_, her best friend! I don't _ever _want to hear that crap again." 

Disgusted, Tomoyo threw something down. It was a piece of fabric she was sewing for the school play. Always calm, she never got angry unless someone spoke lies about Sakura. But when she _was _furious, everyone listened to her. The hall was deadly silent, until Tomoyo smiled, as if nothing had happened.

"Now, there's another room with costumes that we can use-

Reiko stormed down the stairs and pushed the door open, slamming it closed behind her. The roving of an old engine coughed on outside, then she sped away. 

Tomoyo frowned, leading the theater class up the stairs to the third floor. She would need to find an opportunity to sneak down to Sakura's room to videotape...but when? Hmmm...she needed a masterful plan to ditch them...this would take some brainpower. 

******************************************************************************

When Sakura woke up, it was late. She touched her lips, which were still warm. Why was her head so floaty, and what was the wonderful feeling she had in her heart, one that made her grin like a buffoon?

She dreamed that Syaoran had kissed her. She smiled to herself. It was a nice dream, one that left lingering butterflies in her stomach. If only if were _true_...

But he didn't like her _that _way.

Sakura tried to sleep again, but the nightmares of death and suffering converged over her like vultures. Just like so many times before, Sakura opened her eyes and found herself staring at the ceiling. 

_That's _when she noticed the light breathing next to her.

It was Syaoran, his brown hair falling over his eyes in sleep. He was slouching in a chair next to her bed. Did he stay up the entire night to watch over her? He looked tired. _Her guardian angel..._

Sakura moseyed over to him. She reached for his hand, an electric current tingling through her fingers where their hands met. Then she closed her eyes, and _this _time she slept, holding his hand late into the night. 

******************************************************************************

To be continued...

  


******************************************************************************

Author's note: lalalalala...Yay! They kissed...well, kinda...only Sakura was asleep...okay, so it wasn't a real kiss....btw the words Sakura was about to say, "hikari, aishiteru" = ? 

  


I'll leave you to agonize over it...find a dictionary ^_^ it's kinda cute...

  


watch out for Reiko, cause she's dangerous _and _evil...she has something up her sleeve...that's all I'll say...^-^ other than that, did u notice how it wasn't quite as angst-ridden as previous chapters? Ahh yes...the road to progress....

  
  


hmmmmm...yesterday, I got an awesome e-mail from Leen ( who is an awesome artist of anime, e-mail me if you want her webpage where she has her art up), who told me that there's a new manga out, featuring the characters of CCS!!! (that's cardcaptor sakura, case you couldn't tell...hehehe) Now, mind, the new manga is NOT a continuation of CCS, but involves the CHARACTERS of CCS as the main characters (i.e. -Sakura, Syaoran, Yukito, Touya, Tomoyo...etc,etc,etc.) It's called Tsubasa, and it's new from CLAMP! I've read the first chapter...it's kinda confusing, but the plot is oh-so-original...Sakura is a princess, and Touya the king, Syaoran a very HOT archeologist (at least, I think so...that he's an archeologist...I _know _that he's HOT...lol)...I won't say anymore, but oh yea, they're _older _now too. Teenagers & not little kids anymore...yay!

  


So...do ya want a link to a site that is translating it? Leave your e-mail address (either e-mail me that u want it or tell me in a review) and I'll give u the linkie. Be warned: it's Clamp, so of course the art is gorgeous and Syaoran is HOT! I would have the linkie here, but the person that is translating & posting up the scans of the manga doesn't want direct links to her site or she'll stop translating new stuff so I can't put it on a web page but I can e-mail it...

  


What is it with me and the anime guys? As of right now, I have a burgeoning crush on Inuyasha, Syaoran of Tsubasa (the older one), Vash of Trigun, and possibly one on Kenshin, but I find his character too...chipper. 

  


I need a life. Either that, or I need to get my act together & start doing my summer hw...or I could be like Sakura & do it all at the last minute & leave it to my stuffed animal to do...sigh.

  


Oh yea...almost forgot. Please review and tell me what u think about this chapter! ^-^

  


lol...sorry Kawaii-CherryWolf...they didn't kiss the way that u wanted them too! You know that I want them to too...but I want the story to go _slow_...sigh...so they'll really kiss when the half of my brain decided that it's time...man! The _right _side of my brain is so mean! That's the side that thinks up all this angst, the whole "character development" thing...who cares! I wanna see them kiss & not just when Sakura is asleep....sigh...& no, I'm not psychosomatic! Lol..(right side, left side of my brain.) ^.^

  
  


Next chapter is the festival! Wonder what will happen (actually, I already know what will happen, cause im the writer... ^.^)

  


Thanks for reading ^_^ Wow, this author's note is long...never take advantage of the gift of gab...:)

  
  



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